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Marriage quotes 14 Marriage quotes 14

This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect h

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Funny Film and Movie Quotes Funny Film and Movie Quotes

FUNNY FILM & MOVIE QUOTES "A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on" Samuel Goldwyn. "Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is

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How To Identify Professors. How To Identify Professors.

Chemistry Professor Wears a white lab coat. This may actually be clean but does not have to be. Practical Chemistry professor have a brand new coat that has never been in the lab. Polymer Chemistry professors have strange glop on their coat, and Introductory Che

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Misery Is. Misery Is.

not having any money when the representative comes to your house selling Mafia cookies. laughing at your husband because he can't get into his old army uniform and then you can't get into your old maternity dress. going on your honeymoon and having the motel employees t

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Record Breakers. Record Breakers.

Women: Car Parking: The smallest kerbside space sucessfully reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuv

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Unusual Accidents, Deaths, And Other Occurances. Unusual Accidents, Deaths, And Other Occurances.

Miscellaneous A computer with the job of issuing traffic citations goofed in September, 1989 and sent notices to 41,000 residents of Paris, France informing them that they were charged with murder, prostitution and illegal sale of drugs. Did you know that steel

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Funny Answer Phone Messages. Funny Answer Phone Messages.

<Phone Rings> Noisy pick-up of phone Uh...<wisperingly> Hello? Hi, I 'm a burgular and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine. If you give me your name and number I'll..uh, I'll post it on the 'frige where he'll see it. Uh.. by the way, wher

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Are These True Facts? Are These True Facts?

After extensive study of the Shroud of Turin, it has now been theorized that Jesus had muttonchops. Citizens in Ohio unsuccessfully tried to start a charitable organization called "The Salvation Coast Guard". (thanks to Eric Snyder) After he was President, Harry S. Truman b

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True facts True facts

Any month that has a Friday the 13th also has a Wednesday the 25th. John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer. In 21 states, Wal-Mart is the single largest employer. Jim Gordon, drummer of Derek and the Dominos ("Layla"), killed his mother with a claw hammer

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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