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Top 11 dog & cat characteristics Top 11 dog & cat characteristics

1. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you. 2. Dogs look much better at the end of a leash. 3. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life. 4. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak

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Insults Insults

I'm a self-made man. We accept your apology. Why don't you go home and brush up on your ignorance. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. He doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. All foam, no beer. He fell

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The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional. The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional.

17. New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family. 16. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA. 15. Your mother and your pre-teen sister always fighting over the last beer. 14. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch. 13.

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Funny Business Quotes Funny Business Quotes

FUNNY BUSINESS QUOTES "A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation." Howard Scott. "I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons." Douglas Adams. "I always arrive late a

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Funny Writers&Critics Quotes Funny Writers&Critics Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY WRITERS & CRITICS "Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" John Mendosa. "What's another word for thesaurus?" Steven Wright . "This is the sixth book I've written, whic

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50 Actual Newspaper Headlines. 50 Actual Newspaper Headlines.

1.Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 2.Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 3.Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 4.Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case 5.Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents 6.Farmer Bill Dies in House 7.Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 8.I

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55 Ways To Get Rid Of Blind Dates. 55 Ways To Get Rid Of Blind Dates.

1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your ta

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True facts True facts

Any month that has a Friday the 13th also has a Wednesday the 25th. John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer. In 21 states, Wal-Mart is the single largest employer. Jim Gordon, drummer of Derek and the Dominos ("Layla"), killed his mother with a claw hammer

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101 Christmas gift ideas for the woman in your life 101 Christmas gift ideas for the woman in your life

Bedroom board games. Board games aren't just for kids anymore. There are plenty of sexy board games that bring fun and a sense of competition into the bedroom. A well-done game like Monogamy, Postman's Knock, or Naughty Dice is a fun way to get close. A gift like this is sure to lead to a memorabl

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Cute Jokes Cute Jokes

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?" The pharmacist asks, "You mean aspirin?" "That's it, I can never remember the word." "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor says, "Tell h

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Huge Collection Of Quotes. Huge Collection Of Quotes.

McGowan's Madison Avenue Axiom: If an item is advertised as "under $50", you can bet it's not $19.95. * Van Roy's Law: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. * How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. * Un

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Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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