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Funny Stories About Women Car Drivers Funny Stories About Women Car Drivers

Here are a few jokes and funny stories about women car drivers.   A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence. 'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.' 'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.' 'Lady, I don't care who y

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Publicitate

News Flash Messages News Flash Messages

☻NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one

SMS Messages Funny text > Top

funny sms-wrong person funny sms-wrong person

wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox! This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for

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The New Dress The New Dress

A lady walked into the room to show hubby her new dress, She was a rather large lady - around forty two in the chest. The dress was cut really low - showed off her feminine shape, Her husband's eyes almost popped - all he could do was gape! "Where did you get that dress,

Funny poems - Wedding poems Funny text > Top

A Feeling of Impotence A Feeling of Impotence

There once was a time I was omnipotent, but now, some years later, I'm just impotent. I heard about cures from books and TV and thought some of them might do it for me. Maybe some Rogaine would bring back my hair and make me look sexy, and suave, debonair. The

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Special You sms Messages Special You sms Messages

☻Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all

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Insults Insults

I'm a self-made man. We accept your apology. Why don't you go home and brush up on your ignorance. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. He doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. All foam, no beer. He fell

SMS Messages Funny text > Top

cute cute

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy

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Words From Husband To Wife Words From Husband To Wife

I am enamored by your beauty by the way you're tanned of color. I just sit awe fully astonished as you cast light into the night. I wonder if obscurity has attached upon my vision because your body is untouched of a blemish. I have trouble possessing time

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Beach Pic Beach Pic

Take my picture as I stand Posing proudly on the sand, My cornetto in my hand. Towel concealing all that's floppy, Smile controlled and not too soppy, Everyone will want a copy. Print comes later in the week. God, who is this aged freak? Tear it up. No, do not spe

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Are You Talking To Me Are You Talking To Me

"Are you talking to me?" she said passing by "Yes, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy, "I think you're real gorgeous ... that flaming red hair Is exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare. "I love the way that it curls round your face, And

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Growing Old Gracefully Growing Old Gracefully

There's a mole on my neck that's growing a hair When I was younger it wasn't there A lot of things changed since I've grown older like my fallen arches and this hump on my shoulder Yesterday I noticed a twitch in one eye and spots on my hand that resemble a fly I used to

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Animal Health Warning Animal Health Warning

The moon were at its full that night when I first heard Horace croak, 'twere on the road to Froghall some eight miles east of Stoke. Why I called him Horace I've not a bloody clue! -anyway, that's beside the point, he were cold and somewhat blue. I gathered up some logs and twigs and mad

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I Touch Your Hand I Touch Your Hand

You touch my hand and look at me. There is a message in your eyes Which makes me fidget nervously Although it does not much surprise. If I had any sense I'd flee, Make some excuses, tell you lies, Suggest that I could never be Party to such an enterprise, Say that I

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Dream Lover Dream Lover

If there is one thing That irritates me to the point of screaming It is my inability to remember what on earth I've been dreaming. When I wake up my dream is as clear As a colour print of it. Two seconds later my mind has slipped out of gear And I can't remember a hint of it Altho

Funny poems - Life Poems Funny text > Top

You Men You Men

I was asked for an honest opinion, and replied without second thought, about the dress that she was now wearing, at Debenham's recently bought. I replied a little too frankly, about colour, shape and size, and learned a valuable lesson, about women and telling lies ! Copyr

Funny poems - Wedding poems Funny text > Top

This Will Change Your Life Forever This Will Change Your Life Forever

I've invented a new word It's fun and it's free A four lettered miracle As soon you will see You can use it in private Or tell all your friends It's not overbearing It never condescends This one single syllable Will change your whole life Make you very popula

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How Am I You Ask How Am I You Ask

How am I you ask? Well I must say I'll be fine as soon as this pain goes away I'll be fine when I lose a few hundred pounds and my cough isn't really as bad as it sounds The sight in my eye will return they say as soon as this pain in my head goes away I guess I'll be abl

Funny poems - Age Related Poems Funny text > Top

Lady Love Lady Love

I wooed a lady passing fair When I was young and courtly. I loved her lips, her eyes, her hair, Her figure pert if portly. I raised her to my saddle bow And pulled a muscle down below. She cried "Did we hear something go?" Unmanned by piercing pains, I thought I ought to l

Funny poems - Love poems Funny text > Top

A Crime Scene A Crime Scene

There's been a murder, a woman was killed, found in a bathtub, partially filled. A pair of policemen went into the house and thoroughly questioned the poor woman's spouse. He'd just come home from working all night and found her like that, a terrible sigh

Funny poems - Death Poems Funny text > Top
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