naked toph

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He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost cont

A priest, in urgent need to use the bathroom, walks into a local bar. The bar is jumping with loud music and lively conversation, but every few minutes the lights abruptly go off. Every time the lights go off, the bar crowd bursts into loud whoops and applause, but when they see the priest enter the

1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa. 3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. 4. When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to

 1. Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa. 3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. 4. When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans. 5. Find out what a frog in a blender reall

The early days of wedded bliss Held passion wild, untamed; but with the passing of the years This lusty fervor waned. "We'll have to find a cure to stem This indolence within," She thought, and then devised a plan Her husband's warmth to win. When he re

FUNNY QUOTES BY LARRY FLYNT "There's nothing that will change someone's moral outlook quicker than cash in large sums." "If the human body's obscene, complain to the manufacturer, not to me." "The major

All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employe

WOMEN <=> MAN •    RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled 'All Men Are Idiots' Then she will get on with her life. A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months af

Now listen to my story, I swear to you it's true. A tale of Fred and Janet, a couple that I knew Who succumbed to love's emotions, let their carnal thoughts run free While driving 'round one evening in Fred's old '180 B'. Fred pulled up on a back road in a cloud of chokin

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE ART WORLD "There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad." Salvador Dali. "If it sells, it's art." Frank Lloyd. "Salvador Dali seduced many ladies, particularly

Electrocution ------------- Is he/she still connected to the power supply? If so, SWITCH OFF THE POWER IMMEDIATELY. Electricity costs an absolute fortune, and it would be going to waste. Check the victims pulse, (if you can find their wrist amongst the stack of

by Cheryl Lavin: The secret rules that women live by but rarely divulge to men. Invite a man to go shopping with you only if you need someone to carry your packages or drive. Assure your boyfriend that every female movie star has had a boob job. When your

A shame it was about old Bert, they said, A drinking man, a sport, a thoroughbred; He' d never meant ill to beast nor mankind And seldom would utter a word unkind. Forgot, meanwhile, the less than perfect Bert, Libido pert and ego girted Bert, Attractive flirt and far from call

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE ART WORLD "Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." Groucho Marx  "The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - The unspeakable in full pursuit of the u

God yawned a great yawn. He was awesomely bored After pottering around in His shed. He considered the chaos that swirled all around And thought: "It's time that summat got med!" So he shouted: "Be still!" and the howling let up As the winds and the tempest

FUNNY QUOTES BY DAVE BARRY "Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet." "The only really good place to buy lumber i

☻Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you? 

☻Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do y

A collection of interesting quotes It isn't pollution that is harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. - Dan Quayle Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco. - Will Rogers Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a