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wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox! This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports employment among Registered Nurses (RNs) will grow faster than the average for all occupations. Demand for quality nurses continues to rise due to the increase in the median age of the US population. Many people in today’s workforce don’t realize th

A lady walked into the room to show hubby her new dress, She was a rather large lady - around forty two in the chest. The dress was cut really low - showed off her feminine shape, Her husband's eyes almost popped - all he could do was gape! "Where did you get that dress,

☻NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one

Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all rolled into 1 Thought of u 2day,dats not new,thought of u yesterday + da day b4 2, ill think of u 2mor + my whol

if ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u if i could die early i would ask God if i could be your guardian ang

not having any money when the representative comes to your house selling Mafia cookies. laughing at your husband because he can't get into his old army uniform and then you can't get into your old maternity dress. going on your honeymoon and having the motel employees t

☻Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all

There once was a time I was omnipotent, but now, some years later, I'm just impotent. I heard about cures from books and TV and thought some of them might do it for me. Maybe some Rogaine would bring back my hair and make me look sexy, and suave, debonair. The

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas! Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru

Find common interests. Ask, "Are you in the Witness Protection Program too?" Tell your fellow passenger that you just heard the bathrooms were out-of-order. Then pause and say, "Did you know that peanuts are a natural diuretic?" Smile. Call t

Bedroom board games. Board games aren't just for kids anymore. There are plenty of sexy board games that bring fun and a sense of competition into the bedroom. A well-done game like Monogamy, Postman's Knock, or Naughty Dice is a fun way to get close. A gift like this is sure to lead to a memorabl

Funny Music Quotes "The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet." Oliver Herford. "Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewin

"Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter." "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they

☻Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you? 

The statements below are taken from actual insurance accident claims forms. They are real, true (you can't make up this kind of stuff). Read 'em and laugh and be glad it wasn't you. Each image in the left column is a small part of an act