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When Visiting The Family When Visiting The Family

Be real nice and sit up tall, eat your dinner- and I mean eat it all. Be polite when at another's home, smile and laugh, never groan. Let Grandma pinch your face quite a bit, pretend to be calm instead of throwing a fit. Don't tell about Mommy's crazy mood or the day that

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News Flash Messages News Flash Messages

☻NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one

SMS Messages Funny text > Top

The Godfather The Godfather

An Italian family that lives near me had a welcome addition to their family And for miles around with vino and grins happy folk celebrated the birth of twins. So proudly their father named Anthony - well he was Italian, what else could it be? Gave serious thought to who he wo

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Bank robber stealing Bank robber stealing

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, December 9: A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in

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funny sms-wrong person funny sms-wrong person

wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox! This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for

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The New Dress The New Dress

A lady walked into the room to show hubby her new dress, She was a rather large lady - around forty two in the chest. The dress was cut really low - showed off her feminine shape, Her husband's eyes almost popped - all he could do was gape! "Where did you get that dress,

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A Feeling of Impotence A Feeling of Impotence

There once was a time I was omnipotent, but now, some years later, I'm just impotent. I heard about cures from books and TV and thought some of them might do it for me. Maybe some Rogaine would bring back my hair and make me look sexy, and suave, debonair. The

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Special You sms Messages Special You sms Messages

☻Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all

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In The Garden In The Garden

One night in Eden, Adam was Away from Eve all night. When he came home next morning Eve was spoiling for a fight. He patiently explained that he Was taking inventory Of the nocturnal animals. She didn't buy his story. "Who was she?" Eve demanded, But Ad

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Story sms Messages Story sms Messages

☻Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr

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Christmas Christmas

I've been getting ready for Christmas I'm revving up for the great day my credit card's cracked and my freezer is packed 'cause I started my shopping in May The mistletoe's hanging in bunches 'cause the odd Christmas kiss isn't wrong and the Vicar I've found - quite l

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Insults Insults

I'm a self-made man. We accept your apology. Why don't you go home and brush up on your ignorance. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. He doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. All foam, no beer. He fell

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One Memorable Christmas One Memorable Christmas

One memorable Christmas not so long ago Santa did something that no one should know, But all of the reindeer were standing about And one of them blabbed so the story got out! Of how a bit more than just Christmas cheer Got into our dear old Santa that year! According to Blitz

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Lost Love-True Love Story Lost Love-True Love Story

This is a personal account of a ghost story that occured over 10 years ago. This "true experince" firml supported my theory that our departed loved ones can convey messages through dreams. Back in 1989, being a fresh

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cute cute

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy

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Clod Fight Clod Fight

What's going on? My brother Barry asked of me "Stick up your head, and tell us what you see" We'd built a fort of old "Tea Chest's" and sod To fight a "Clod" war with the "Belchambers" mob Leith's and Belchambers, both always right Seldom s

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The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional. The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional.

17. New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family. 16. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA. 15. Your mother and your pre-teen sister always fighting over the last beer. 14. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch. 13.

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Egg story Egg story

Egg story Pictures - Funny cartoons

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Marriage quotes 14 Marriage quotes 14

This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect h

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Words From Husband To Wife Words From Husband To Wife

I am enamored by your beauty by the way you're tanned of color. I just sit awe fully astonished as you cast light into the night. I wonder if obscurity has attached upon my vision because your body is untouched of a blemish. I have trouble possessing time

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