Jokes - Funny Jokes

Thousands of funny jokes! Blonde jokes, adult jokes, yo mama jokes, redneck jokes, lawyer jokes, animal jokes, sports jokes, relationship jokes and more!

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persiste

The President of Cuba has announced that Cuba will not participate in the next Summer Olympics. He said that, "Anyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country"

Adolescence, n: The stage between puberty and adultery. Adult, n: One old enough to know better. Adultery, n: Putting yourself in someone else's position. Afternoon, n: That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning Ambition, n: An ant crawling up an elephan

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbo

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candida

Are you a winner? :-) ... or a loser? ... :-( Winners have dreams; Losers have schemes. Winners see the gains; Losers see the pain. Winners see the potential; Losers see the past. Winners make it happen; Losers let it happen. Winners see possibilities; Losers see problems.

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were asked if they would ever sleep with President Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photogr

Here are a few jokes and funny stories about women car drivers.   A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence. 'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.' 'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.' 'Lady, I don't care who y

10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking. 9. Today is our what? 8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together? 7. I thought we only celebrated important events? 6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband. 5. You do

By the time Dave pulled into the small town every hotel room was taken. He finally pulled up to the very last hotel and went into the office. "You've got to have a room somewhere" he pleaded." -- Or just a bed - I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted