Jokes - Blonde jokes

Everyone loves funny blond jokes, except maybe blond people. Well we\'ve got a huge collection of dirty blond jokes to laugh at.

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure

A contestant on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. As she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I c

A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarily too smart. On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried to make the best of her performance. The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one thousand dollars?" She

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door hers

A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I hate all the blonde jokes people tell." "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you." They went outside and hailed a taxi driver. "Please ta

This (Blonde) fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of- the-line m

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank th

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today befor

Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to sp

Several weeks ago, we hired a new blonde secretary who wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. One day when she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use the copier machine paper," the other responded.

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says, "Open wide". "I can't," replies the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms."!

Two blondes are walking in the forest when they come across marks in the ground. One says to another, 'Oh, look at the deer tracks!' 'Those aren't deer trucks, you dumb blonde!' says the other. 'They're bear prints.' 'Deer tracks, you dumb blonde!' 'Bear prints, you dumb blon

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown

A red head, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender asks the redhead what she would like. She says, "I'll have a A.L." The bartender looks lost, and so the redhead says, "Daaaaa, an Amstel Lite!" Next, the bartender asks the brunette what she would like.

A blonde goes into a library and cheerfully says, "Hi! I'm here to see the doctor!" In a stern, but hushed voice, the librarian says, "Miss, this is a library." So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor.

When asked by their host if she would like another drink, the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly and said, "No thank you. My husband limits me to one drink." "Why is that," the host asked? Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it; after two drin

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!" The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!" The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and th

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her all she had to do was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the