The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:

1 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

2 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

3 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

4 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. so Dont drink and dial!!

5 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

6 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you cannot remember).

7 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

8 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

9 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.