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Upgrade Your Girlfriend Upgrade Your Girlfriend

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a  memory hogger, has taken all his space; and Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do  anything. Although he didn't ask for t

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Funny Authors Quotes Funny Authors Quotes

FUNNY AUTHORS QUOTES I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork." Peter De Vries "About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment." Josh Bi

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Windows Jokes. Windows Jokes.

Windows : Just another pain in the glass Double your drive space - delete Windows! Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I... Windows : Turn your pentium into an XT Windows : The Gates of hell Windows : The colourful clown suit for DOS Windows 95 is out... (PC Magazine 2013) Windows

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Accident prevention Accident prevention

7,386 teenagers between the ages of 16-20 were killed in car accidents in 2004. Did you know? A teenager's first 500 miles of driving are the most dangerous. During that time, teens are 10 times more likely to crash than an adult. Two-thirds of the teenagers who

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How To Know When You've Been On IRC Too Long How To Know When You've Been On IRC Too Long

Your service provider calls *you* for tech support. Someone at work tells you a joke, and you say "LOL!" You have ever had a dream about the people in your channels. You have to scroll through your popup menu. You watch T.V. with closed captioning turned on. Your friend Tom tells you

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Funny Film and Movie Quotes Funny Film and Movie Quotes

FUNNY FILM & MOVIE QUOTES "A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on" Samuel Goldwyn. "Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is

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FUNNY FILM_MOVIE QUOTES FUNNY FILM_MOVIE QUOTES

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on" Samuel Goldwyn. "Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going

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Funny Writers&Critics Quotes Funny Writers&Critics Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY WRITERS & CRITICS "Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" John Mendosa. "What's another word for thesaurus?" Steven Wright . "This is the sixth book I've written, whic

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True Computer Illiteracy Stories. True Computer Illiteracy Stories.

A guy called and said, "My computer blew up!" But, really, he had only experienced the 'starfield' screensaver. When one person wanted to use with the mouse, they picked it up, pointed it at the screen and clicked it like a remote control. I was in the Univ. of Crete

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Funny Definitions Funny Definitions

Adolescence, n: The stage between puberty and adultery. Adult, n: One old enough to know better. Adultery, n: Putting yourself in someone else's position. Afternoon, n: That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning Ambition, n: An ant crawling up an elephan

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Pick Up Lines Pick Up Lines

☻Do you know what'd look good on you? Me. ☻I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... o

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Unusual Accidents, Deaths, And Other Occurances. Unusual Accidents, Deaths, And Other Occurances.

Miscellaneous A computer with the job of issuing traffic citations goofed in September, 1989 and sent notices to 41,000 residents of Paris, France informing them that they were charged with murder, prostitution and illegal sale of drugs. Did you know that steel

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Quotes to Ponder Quotes to Ponder

A collection of interesting quotes It isn't pollution that is harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. - Dan Quayle Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco. - Will Rogers Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a

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101 Christmas gift ideas for the woman in your life 101 Christmas gift ideas for the woman in your life

Bedroom board games. Board games aren't just for kids anymore. There are plenty of sexy board games that bring fun and a sense of competition into the bedroom. A well-done game like Monogamy, Postman's Knock, or Naughty Dice is a fun way to get close. A gift like this is sure to lead to a memorabl

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True facts True facts

Any month that has a Friday the 13th also has a Wednesday the 25th. John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer. In 21 states, Wal-Mart is the single largest employer. Jim Gordon, drummer of Derek and the Dominos ("Layla"), killed his mother with a claw hammer

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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