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Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how

Real computer scientists don't write code. They occasionally tinker with 'programming systems', but those are so high level that they hardly count (and rarely count accurately; precision is for applications.) Real computer scientists don't comment their code.  The identifiers are so l

REAL SOFTWARE ENGINEERS DON'T READ DUMPS   Real software engineers don't read dumps.   They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused. Real software engineers don't comment their code.  The identifiers are so

Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

I never believed in Angels Just another fairy tale I was told Dreams and wishes they too Were for others to behold Why should I believe in such silly things My life would never change Just because of an Angel with wings I find that very strange Little did I realize, an Angel I might need

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in To wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free; There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be. Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have n

"Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter." "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they

There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket w

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and

Dreams I dream of your touch while you are away, I dream of your smile all through the day, I remember the day, You came into my life, I dream of the day I will be your wife. I dream of the day I can fall asleep next to you, I dream of the day I can say I do. To be your wife, To be toge

1. Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder ... What the hell was I thinking? 2. I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you ... I've changed my mind. 3. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life... I neve

You Say: Hi, how do you feel today? They Say: Fine. You Say: I asked how you felt, not how you look! Is it hot in here, or is it just you? If I told you you had a beautiful body/chest, would you hold it against me? Give Out Cards Or Where A Pin That Says... Smile if you wa

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT CHILDREN "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." Sam Levinson. "Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off." Ralph Bus. "There are

A lady walked into the room to show hubby her new dress, She was a rather large lady - around forty two in the chest. The dress was cut really low - showed off her feminine shape, Her husband's eyes almost popped - all he could do was gape! "Where did you get that dress,

       HAHA...THESE BABIES NEVER FAIL ☻Put your crash helmet on,