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This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect h

These excuses were on accident claim forms of a major insurance company. ere asked for a brief statement describing their particular accident. 1. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. 2. I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my ha

Chemistry Professor Wears a white lab coat. This may actually be clean but does not have to be. Practical Chemistry professor have a brand new coat that has never been in the lab. Polymer Chemistry professors have strange glop on their coat, and Introductory Che

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, December 9: A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in

Here are a few jokes and funny stories about women car drivers.   A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence. 'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.' 'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.' 'Lady, I don't care who y

Favorite Romantic Quotes #1     Real love stories never have endings.     Richard Bach Favorite Romantic Quotes #2     Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse.     Halen Favorite Romantic Quotes #3    

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his f

This is a personal account of a ghost story that occured over 10 years ago. This "true experince" firml supported my theory that our departed loved ones can convey messages through dreams. Back in 1989, being a fresh

(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle) Girl: Slow down. Im scared. Guy: No this is fun. Girl: No its not. Please, its to scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him) G

We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. Top personnel executives of 100 major American corporation

The following story is courtesy of The Admiral: Back in about 1968 or 69, we made port in Yokosuka, Japan. Seemed like a nice sort of place to be for a bunch of crazy sailors. We'd been there before, so it was a place to go visit one's known funspots and have s

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as: 1 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. 2 - WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends wa

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost cont

A girl was sitting on a chair at the gas station she worked at. She looked up and saw her boyfriend walk in. As he was looking at snacks, a man walked in and pointed a gun at her. He had been admiring her ring her boyfriend

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting a

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity ab

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office. Apparently, they are there to file a divorce. Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story.... This couple had been quarreling all their 40