dirty txt message fwd

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If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas! Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru

MURPHY'S LAWS ON SEX -------------------- 01. Nothing improves with age. 02. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it. 03. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. 04. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. 05. No sex with anyone

Looking for some funny, amusing, joke or strange messages to make your answering machine more fun - well try these ones. "This is an answering' machine, this machine is designed to take full advantage of its numerous capabilities. Please say what you wanted to talk about and why did ya call m

1. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you. 2. Dogs look much better at the end of a leash. 3. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life. 4. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't

wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox! This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for

You touch my hand and look at me. There is a message in your eyes Which makes me fidget nervously Although it does not much surprise. If I had any sense I'd flee, Make some excuses, tell you lies, Suggest that I could never be Party to such an enterprise, Say that I

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family plan

☻Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.   ☻Reality is an illusion that

☻NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT SCIENCE "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction." Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872 . "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE PROGRAMMERS AND PROGRAMMING "I invented it, Bill made it famous." David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC) "As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. AC

FUNNY QUOTES BY GEORGE BURNS "When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and

☻Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do y

<Phone Rings> Noisy pick-up of phone Uh...<wisperingly> Hello? Hi, I 'm a burgular and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine. If you give me your name and number I'll..uh, I'll post it on the 'frige where he'll see it. Uh.. by the way, wher

 IDIOTS & RETAILING I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she would not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it

☻20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand