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Funny text youporn mother and her children

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Mother's dictionary Mother's dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family plan

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mothers day mothers day

There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats d gift of a wonderful mum, and that luvly mum is u! Baby only for u, Would I touch ur poo, Let you wee, All over me, I'll pick ur nose & kiss ur toes, Clean your bum, Because I'm

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Girl and mother Girl and mother

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

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Marriage quotes 05 Marriage quotes 05

Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don't m

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Girl and mother Girl and mother

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

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The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photogr

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Why should you check your children's homework Why should you check your children's homework

Why should you check your children's homework  Jokes - Funny Jokes

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

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Funny Quotes About Children Funny Quotes About Children

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT CHILDREN "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." Sam Levinson. "Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off." Ralph Bus. "There are

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Pet Ownership. Pet Ownership.

A pet can be a wonderful addition to a household, but it's important to choose one that's right for your family. Here are some tips for making a winning choice: o Pets eventually grow old and die, causing your children great emotional trauma. Be sure to only ch

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Who Is God? Who Is God?

A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?” “Both son. God is both.” After awhile the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?” “Both son, both.” “Daddy, does God love children?” “Yes

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I Am My Own Grandpa I Am My Own Grandpa

Many, many years ago When I was twenty-three I got married to a widow Pretty as could be. This widow had a grow-up daughter With flowing hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my

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Father and son Father and son

Father: What did you do today to help your mother? Son: I dried the dishes Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

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The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional. The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional.

17. New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family. 16. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA. 15. Your mother and your pre-teen sister always fighting over the last beer. 14. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch. 13.

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A woman's dictionary A woman's dictionary

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, di

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Just a Theory Just a Theory

The question is who, what, and why we are here A question that will linger after a full case of beer Are we children of God that inhabit this earth Or the product of monkies who kept giving birth Now rarely do people bring aliens into the picture Our only two choices

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Misery Is. Misery Is.

not having any money when the representative comes to your house selling Mafia cookies. laughing at your husband because he can't get into his old army uniform and then you can't get into your old maternity dress. going on your honeymoon and having the motel employees t

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The Economy Is So Bad That The Economy Is So Bad That

I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. Parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.  I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.  Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.   A p

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Marriage quotes 14 Marriage quotes 14

This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect h

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Run Run

I was teaching a very basic class in BASIC programming to a group of adults. Adults who have never been around computers before are very nervous and much harder to teach than children, however I am a patient person so I enjoy their successes. However, I must share the following: After putting a sh

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Love Dress Love Dress

The early days of wedded bliss Held passion wild, untamed; but with the passing of the years This lusty fervor waned. "We'll have to find a cure to stem This indolence within," She thought, and then devised a plan Her husband's warmth to win. When he re

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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