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Girl and mother Girl and mother

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

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Unlucky Young Man Unlucky Young Man

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's &qu

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First Job First Job

"A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the worke

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Speeding-Touching Love Story Speeding-Touching Love Story

(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle) Girl: Slow down. Im scared. Guy: No this is fun. Girl: No its not. Please, its to scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him) G

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The Smart Blonde The Smart Blonde

A blonde woman boards an airplane. She is extremely exhausted and just wants to take a nap. She finally finds her seat and sits down next to a very curious young man. He wants to test the whole dub blonde thing and possibly make some money out of it. "Hey, wanna play a game?" he asks her.

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Girl and boy Girl and boy

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet.

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Girl and mother Girl and mother

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN

You ski uphill. You speed walk in your sleep. You answer the door before people knock. You sleep with your eyes open. You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. The only

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The Service The Service

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at th e plaque for some time, so the pastor walked

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Super girl avatar Super girl avatar

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Special you Special you

Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all rolled into 1 Thought of u 2day,dats not new,thought of u yesterday + da day b4 2, ill think of u 2mor + my whol

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Alligator Shoes Alligator Shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers,

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The Carburator The Carburator

A young blonde female stock broker was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps a MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140

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Special You sms Messages Special You sms Messages

☻Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all

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Funny Salvador Dali Quotes Funny Salvador Dali Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES "The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot." "What is an elegant woman? An elegant woman is a woman who d

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Story sms Messages Story sms Messages

☻Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr

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The Missing Rib-Tragic Love Story The Missing Rib-Tragic Love Story

A girl in love asked her boyfriend. Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world? Boy: You, of course! Girl: In your heart, what am I to you? Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that

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Blondes Pain Blondes Pain

A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." "What do you mean?" said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched he

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Let me Love You-Tragic Love Story Let me Love You-Tragic Love Story

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his f

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Reflections of a Beautiful Morning The sun rises above the hillcrest, As does the joy of my heart. Rays of warmth and love, From her I will never depart. Fresh dew upon the grass, Young birds chirp in their nests. I watch her gently sleep, My love to her I silently profess. I enjoy th

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25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you’re drinking too much coffee applies to you… you might be addicted.    1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.    2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”    3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it&r
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