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Animal Romance Animal Romance

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Donkey in a Well Donkey in a Well

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbo

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Funny Mathematics Quotes Funny Mathematics Quotes

"I don't believe in mathematics." Albert Einstein "Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the

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Catch a Rabbit Catch a Rabbit

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They questio

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Dogs letters to God Dogs letters to God

Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities? Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the

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Marriage quotes 09 Marriage quotes 09

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Marriage is t

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Funny Computer Quotes Funny Computer Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE ART WORLD "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." Pablo Picasso. "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs,

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Proper Etiquette In The Men's Room. Proper Etiquette In The Men's Room.

Ever since man crawled out of the primordial ooze, he has built himself structures to contain the processes of bodily waste removal. These have been known as "restrooms," "bathrooms," "outhouses," "commodes," "men's ro

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Just follow the Tracks Just follow the Tracks

3 men are stranded in the middle of the Canadian Forest and they don't know where they are at. They decide that they have to find some food. So the first man leaves and tells the other 2 that he is going to get some food. Several Hours later, he comes back with a deer over his shoulder. The other

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family fortunes answers family fortunes answers

real wrong and funny family fortunes answers The funniest and best list of Family Fortunes answers. Contestants from the ITV (UK) Family Fortunes game-show are asked to guess the most popular answers to questions posed in a survey. Some of these 'Family Misfortunes' answers are actually

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Funny Quotes About Men Funny Quotes About Men

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT MEN "The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things." Jilly Cooper. "You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? Tha

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The Bar Story The Bar Story

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting a

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The Bar Story The Bar Story

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity ab

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Animal Health Warning Animal Health Warning

The moon were at its full that night when I first heard Horace croak, 'twere on the road to Froghall some eight miles east of Stoke. Why I called him Horace I've not a bloody clue! -anyway, that's beside the point, he were cold and somewhat blue. I gathered up some logs and twigs and mad

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Funny Larry Flynt Quotes Funny Larry Flynt Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY LARRY FLYNT "There's nothing that will change someone's moral outlook quicker than cash in large sums." "If the human body's obscene, complain to the manufacturer, not to me." "The major

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Curiosity gets the Priest Curiosity gets the Priest

A priest, in urgent need to use the bathroom, walks into a local bar. The bar is jumping with loud music and lively conversation, but every few minutes the lights abruptly go off. Every time the lights go off, the bar crowd bursts into loud whoops and applause, but when they see the priest enter the

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The Worst Of The Worst. The Worst Of The Worst.

THE WORST HOMING PIGEON This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and was expected to reach its base that evening. It was returned by post, dead, in a cardboard box eleven years later from Brazil. THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen's strike o

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Insults Insults

I'm a self-made man. We accept your apology. Why don't you go home and brush up on your ignorance. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. He doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. All foam, no beer. He fell

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30 Ways To Annoy Other Drivers 30 Ways To Annoy Other Drivers

1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang. 3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors. 4. Two words: Chicken suit. 5. Write th

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Funny Democracy & Government Quotes Funny Democracy & Government Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ON DEMOCRACY AND GOVERNMENT "Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least." Robert Byrne. "Democracy is too good to share with just anybody." Nigel Rees. "A government that robs Pete

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25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee
25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you’re drinking too much coffee applies to you… you might be addicted.    1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.    2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”    3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it&r
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