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Father and son Father and son

Father: What did you do today to help your mother? Son: I dried the dishes Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

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I Am My Own Grandpa I Am My Own Grandpa

Many, many years ago When I was twenty-three I got married to a widow Pretty as could be. This widow had a grow-up daughter With flowing hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my

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Son and dad Son and dad

Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.

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Dad will never say Dad will never say

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say 10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun? 8. I noticed that all your friends hav

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Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear Your Dad Say. Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear Your Dad Say.

10.  Well how 'bout that?...  I'm lost!  Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions. 9.  You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for non-chaperoned car dates.  Won't that be fun? 8.  I noticed that all your friends have a cert

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Their Sons Their Sons

These 4 pals go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son BIll," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter,

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Marriage quotes 02 Marriage quotes 02

Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is de

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Who Is God? Who Is God?

A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?” “Both son. God is both.” After awhile the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?” “Both son, both.” “Daddy, does God love children?” “Yes

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Marriage quotes 05 Marriage quotes 05

Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don't m

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mothers day mothers day

There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats d gift of a wonderful mum, and that luvly mum is u! Baby only for u, Would I touch ur poo, Let you wee, All over me, I'll pick ur nose & kiss ur toes, Clean your bum, Because I'm

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Girl and mother Girl and mother

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

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The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional. The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional.

17. New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family. 16. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA. 15. Your mother and your pre-teen sister always fighting over the last beer. 14. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch. 13.

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Girl and mother Girl and mother

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

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From Bad To Worse 2. From Bad To Worse 2.

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids Bad: You can't find your birth control pills Worse: Your daughter borrowed them Good: Your son studies a lot in his room Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there Worse: You're in them Good: Your husband understands fashion Bad: He's a cros

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Father and son Father and son

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.

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Misery Is. Misery Is.

not having any money when the representative comes to your house selling Mafia cookies. laughing at your husband because he can't get into his old army uniform and then you can't get into your old maternity dress. going on your honeymoon and having the motel employees t

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From Bad To Worse. From Bad To Worse.

Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it. Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other. Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you. Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer. Bad: Your wife's leavin

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funny sms-birthday funny sms-birthday

Wishin u a day full of fun,100s of gifts frm every1, sweet as honey & full of money, may all ur dreams come tru, happy birthday 2 u! Kick off ur shoes, take a break, Crank the tunes, Dance & Shake, light the candles, cut the cake. Make it a day, that's

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Alabama Mom To Alabama Son. Alabama Mom To Alabama Son.

Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where most accidents happened within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the las

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The Service The Service

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at th e plaque for some time, so the pastor walked

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Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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