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Girls are evil Girls are evil

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Proof that girls are evil Proof that girls are evil

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Hot-dog child Hot-dog child

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Marriage quotes 08 Marriage quotes 08

Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when t

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Marriage quotes 12 Marriage quotes 12

Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican

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Pick Up Lines. Pick Up Lines.

You Say: Hi, how do you feel today? They Say: Fine. You Say: I asked how you felt, not how you look! Is it hot in here, or is it just you? If I told you you had a beautiful body/chest, would you hold it against me? Give Out Cards Or Where A Pin That Says... Smile if you wa

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       HAHA...THESE BABIES NEVER FAIL ☻Put your crash helmet on,

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For all the girls For all the girls

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in To wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free; There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be. Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have n

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Record Breakers. Record Breakers.

Women: Car Parking: The smallest kerbside space sucessfully reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuv

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Unlucky Young Man Unlucky Young Man

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's &qu

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The Good Sport The Good Sport

A shame it was about old Bert, they said, A drinking man, a sport, a thoroughbred; He' d never meant ill to beast nor mankind And seldom would utter a word unkind. Forgot, meanwhile, the less than perfect Bert, Libido pert and ego girted Bert, Attractive flirt and far from call

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From Bad To Worse. From Bad To Worse.

Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it. Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other. Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you. Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer. Bad: Your wife's leavin

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Wacky Science Facts Wacky Science Facts

These "facts" come from students. One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

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funny sms-miscellaneous funny sms-miscellaneous

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas! Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin im infectd iv sent it thru

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To Women From A Guy. To Women From A Guy.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. If you won't/don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

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Flirt sms Messages Flirt sms Messages

☻Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming,

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My Secret Valentine My Secret Valentine

My tongue hangs from a distance Oh if you only knew How many times I've fallen over While I've been watching you. You go about your business So blissfully unaware Of this hot and passionate woman Who can only dribble and stare. Your funny little grin And your co

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Duck Hunting Duck Hunting

He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, someth

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The Art World Funny Quotes The Art World Funny Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE ART WORLD "There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad." Salvador Dali. "If it sells, it's art." Frank Lloyd. "Salvador Dali seduced many ladies, particularly

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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