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What State Mottos Should Be. What State Mottos Should Be.

Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! Arizona: Dehyd-rific! Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthang California: As Seen on TV Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character Delaware: Wow.

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Top 20 Cool Things About a Car That Goes Faster Than Top 20 Cool Things About a Car That Goes Faster Than

20 Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am! 19 Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green. 18 Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states. 17 Never in car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song. 16 Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to carpoo

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Two Blondes in a Bar Two Blondes in a Bar

Two blondes came into a bar, sat down, and ordered drinks. They were making merry in a serious way and it was obvious to the bartender that they were celebrating something big. His curiosity finally got the better of him and he says " I hate to be nosy, but it's obvious that you two are celebratin

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Yo Mama's So Fat Jokes 8 Yo Mama's So Fat Jokes 8

Yo Mama's so fat if I put a firecracker up her ass, and it exploded she would be feeding kids in India for years Your momma is so fat she changed the phrase "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"! Yo momma so fat that when I ran around her I got lost! Yo momma s

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Big Catastrophes Big Catastrophes

Big Catastrophes Pictures - Funny picture

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Give Me a Big Smile! Give Me a Big Smile!

Give Me a Big Smile! Pictures - Funny picture

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Funny picture photo zebra Big Nose ucumari Funny picture photo zebra Big Nose ucumari

Funny picture photo zebra Big Nose ucumari Pictures - Funny picture

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Duck Hunting Duck Hunting

He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, someth

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The Bar Story The Bar Story

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity ab

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The Bar Story The Bar Story

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting a

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One Blonde To Another One Blonde To Another

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown

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I Know This Laywer I Know This Laywer

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you

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Funny Food Quotes Funny Food Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT FOOD AND EATING "I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead." Woody Allen "I like children - fried." WC Fields. "Maybe there is no actual place called

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Getting Old Getting Old

I don't remember getting old, . it should'nt happen yet. I need to do some other things that aren't decided yet. Who said my joints should ache like this? my eyesight's getting bad, and when I hit the bedroom, well, things are looking sad. I'm fifty three, how can tha

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Nasty Bug Nasty Bug

Every night, Harold would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him a

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Funny Quotes on Nationalities Funny Quotes on Nationalities

FUNNY NATIONALITIES AND PLACES QUOTES "The Middle Eastern states aren't nations, they're quarrels with borders." PJ O'Rouke. "Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!" Steve Martin.

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How To Wash Your Clothes How To Wash Your Clothes

How To Wash Your Clothes Jokes - Dirty jokes

I can admit it, I’m a bit of a goof when it comes to doing household stuff. I’ve washed clothes maybe 10 times ever, usually things go ok but sometimes I put in a big white shirt and, for some reason, get back a little pink one. Can’t explain it really, and it appears I’m not

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A list of redneck computer terms A list of redneck computer terms

Backup - What you do when you sight a skunk in the woods. Bar code - Them's the fight'n rules down da local tavern. Bug - The reason you is a giv'n for calling in sick. Byte - What yer pit bull dun to cusin Jethro. Cache - Needed when you go to da store. Chip - Yer cusin's uncle'

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TYPES OF ROCK TYPES OF ROCK

    HEAVY METAL:     The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and f*cks the princess.          GRIND METAL:     The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undeciph

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Speeding-Touching Love Story Speeding-Touching Love Story

(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle) Girl: Slow down. Im scared. Guy: No this is fun. Girl: No its not. Please, its to scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him) G

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25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you’re drinking too much coffee applies to you… you might be addicted.    1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.    2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”    3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it&r
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