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Funny Quotes About Women Funny Quotes About Women

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT WOMEN "Women should be obscene and not heard." Groucho Marx  "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." Mark Twain . "Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be th

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Women Pictures - Funny picture

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Marriage quotes 12 Marriage quotes 12

Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican

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Funny Famous Women Quotes Funny Famous Women Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY FAMOUS WOMEN "I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names." Zsa Zsa Gabor "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the

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How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

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 What a Woman Wants in a Man  At various ages What a Woman Wants in a Man At various ages

What women want in a man at age 25: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises 10. An imaginative, romantic lover Wh

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Medical terminology Medical terminology

Artery -- Study of paintings Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U Caesarean section -- District in Rome Cat scan -- Searching for kitty Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her Colic -- Sheep dog Coma -- A punctuation

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Woman's instructions Woman's instructions

THE WOMAN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You

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Lady Love Lady Love

I wooed a lady passing fair When I was young and courtly. I loved her lips, her eyes, her hair, Her figure pert if portly. I raised her to my saddle bow And pulled a muscle down below. She cried "Did we hear something go?" Unmanned by piercing pains, I thought I ought to l

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Are You Talking To Me Are You Talking To Me

"Are you talking to me?" she said passing by "Yes, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy, "I think you're real gorgeous ... that flaming red hair Is exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare. "I love the way that it curls round your face, And

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MURPHY'S LAWS ON SEX MURPHY'S LAWS ON SEX

MURPHY'S LAWS ON SEX -------------------- 01. Nothing improves with age. 02. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it. 03. There is no remedy for sex but more sex. 04. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. 05. No sex with anyone

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Women and man Women and man

WOMEN <=> MAN •    RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled 'All Men Are Idiots' Then she will get on with her life. A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months af

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Happiness Happiness

I found the secret to life...it's 'appiness 'appiness is everyone's due I wish I could give you all 'appiness Then we'd all have 'appiness...me and you 'appiness is such a great thing I'd love to spread some around If the women all had 'appiness You'd find them al

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The Woman's Code The Woman's Code

by Cheryl Lavin: The secret rules that women live by but rarely divulge to men. Invite a man to go shopping with you only if you need someone to carry your packages or drive. Assure your boyfriend that every female movie star has had a boob job. When your

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Funny Eddie Izzard Quotes Funny Eddie Izzard Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY EDDIE IZZARD "I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup." "I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less." "Excuse me, do you have a pencil?" "Never put a sock in a toaster." &

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Funny Stories About Women Car Drivers Funny Stories About Women Car Drivers

Here are a few jokes and funny stories about women car drivers.   A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence. 'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.' 'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.' 'Lady, I don't care who y

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Men's Rules Men's Rules

Women should learn these! Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opport

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Science facts Science facts

Most Americans in the highest-earning one percent of the population (median annual income: $330,000) don't consider themselves rich according to a Worth-Roper Starch Survey.   Despite the name, the Salmonella bacteria that cause severe gastric problems have nothing to do with fish. The first

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What women say and what they mean What women say and what they mean

ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of "those" arguments. FIVE M

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25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee 25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee

25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee Funny stuff - Funny text

I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you&

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25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee
25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you’re drinking too much coffee applies to you… you might be addicted.    1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.    2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”    3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it&r
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