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Winerr 001 : Windows loaded - System in danger Winerr 002 : No error - yet Winerr 003 : Dynaimc Linking Error - Your mistake is now in every file Winerr 004 : Erroneous Error - Nothing is wrong Winerr 005 : Multitasking Attempted - System confused Winerr 006 : Malicious Error - Desq

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbo

I wake up each morning, scratch my ass and head, Then read the day's obits to see if I'm dead, And seeing I'm not I get up for a piddle, Then crawl back in bed where I diddle a little. At six I make coffee and drink it down black, And eat me some toast, without teeth I just

Thank you for the party Mum My birthday was such fun I know my friends will all come back When I have another one The cake you baked was special I never would have thought Mum That a no-egg, no-milk, no-butter, chocolate-free, fat-free, sugar-free, date & pumpkin cake W

1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang. 3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors. 4. Two words: Chicken suit. 5. Write th

It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things. He ran back inside right away and called the cops

I asked an angel 2 watch over u, but he back sooner than xpected!i asked y?He said "an angel doesnt need 2 watch over an angel!" What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture is thinking of you too much

A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?" The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex." The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name the

1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the arse and a 'cheers for the sex - now f*** off' would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine's Day would be moved to 29th February so it would only occur in leap years.

How can I compare your beauty to other faces? You seduce me in the sunshine unashamedly, knowing I cannot look away. My soul cries out more, more, and again I search your dark eyes until I'm strapped in a trance like state. You proceed to tease my lips wi

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT OLD AGE & DEATH "At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual." Patrick Moore. "First you forget names, then

       HAHA...THESE BABIES NEVER FAIL ☻Put your crash helmet on,

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in To wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free; There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be. Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have n

Reflections of a Beautiful Morning The sun rises above the hillcrest, As does the joy of my heart. Rays of warmth and love, From her I will never depart. Fresh dew upon the grass, Young birds chirp in their nests. I watch her gently sleep, My love to her I silently profess. I enjoy th

Yo Mama's so dumb i told her Christmas was around the corner, and she went lookin'. Yo Mama's so dumb that she tripped over a cordless phone. Your Mama's so dumb that she got smacked by a statue. Yo Mama's so dumb she got locked in a toilet and pissed herself. Yo Mama's so dumb

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost cont