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Sleeping cat Sleeping cat

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Alabama Mom To Alabama Son. Alabama Mom To Alabama Son.

Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where most accidents happened within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the las

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Girl and boy Girl and boy

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet.

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The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional. The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional.

17. New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family. 16. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA. 15. Your mother and your pre-teen sister always fighting over the last beer. 14. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch. 13.

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Andy Rooney Thoughts Andy Rooney Thoughts

I've learned... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. That when you're in love, it shows. That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day. That having a child fall asleep in your arms

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One Blonde To Another One Blonde To Another

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown

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The Missing Rib-Tragic Love Story The Missing Rib-Tragic Love Story

A girl in love asked her boyfriend. Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world? Boy: You, of course! Girl: In your heart, what am I to you? Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that

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21 Ways To Annoy Your Roommate At Christmas. 21 Ways To Annoy Your Roommate At Christmas.

Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor. Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to move. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.

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Girl and mother Girl and mother

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

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Jokes sms messages Jokes sms messages

☻When the apple is green and ready to pluck. When a girl is sixteen she's ready to fuck!

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First Job First Job

"A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the worke

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20 Ways To Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stallmate. 20 Ways To Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stallmate.

Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?" Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that." Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily noise. Say, "Hmmm,

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19 Fun Things To Do In A Restroom. 19 Fun Things To Do In A Restroom.

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, 'may I borrow a highlighter?' 2. Say, 'uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.' 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, 'D

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Sleeping Beauty Sleeping Beauty

The TV wouldn't bloody work, I thought that I would die, when hubby piped up come to bed, with a twinkle in his eye. I thought my luck had changed for sure, as I followed him to bed, be a good girl and put on the black and not the red. So I dashed off for a shower and

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Dead Dead

When my lungs come to rest and I've thought my last thought and I've pennies for specs and my vive has turned mort... When I've kicked at the bucket and shaken a seven and bench-pressed some daisies and tried to make heaven... When my boot soles stop wearing an

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God I Hate Christmas God I Hate Christmas

God I hate Christmas with all it's good cheer I hearing people laughin' but I shed a tear Folks they just love ya' one day of the year The rest of the time they wouldn't come near ya' They send you a card full of love and best wishes Then in the New Year th

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Funny Spike Milligan Quotes Funny Spike Milligan Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY SPIKE MILLIGAN "Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy." "I speak Esparanto like a native." "In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesig

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The Service The Service

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been staring at th e plaque for some time, so the pastor walked

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Misery Is. Misery Is.

not having any money when the representative comes to your house selling Mafia cookies. laughing at your husband because he can't get into his old army uniform and then you can't get into your old maternity dress. going on your honeymoon and having the motel employees t

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Unlucky Young Man Unlucky Young Man

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's &qu

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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