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Double Meaning sms Messages Double Meaning sms Messages

☻He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't w

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Christmas Christmas

I've been getting ready for Christmas I'm revving up for the great day my credit card's cracked and my freezer is packed 'cause I started my shopping in May The mistletoe's hanging in bunches 'cause the odd Christmas kiss isn't wrong and the Vicar I've found - quite l

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Recovering Thinker Recovering Thinker

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and

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How to Get A Good Night Sleep How to Get A Good Night Sleep

By the time Dave pulled into the small town every hotel room was taken. He finally pulled up to the very last hotel and went into the office. "You've got to have a room somewhere" he pleaded." -- Or just a bed - I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted

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A woman's dictionary A woman's dictionary

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, di

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You can get chocolate whenever you want You can get chocolate whenever you want

1. "If you love me, you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 2. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft. 3. Two People of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names. 4. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to. 5. You can

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The Wave The Wave

Love yourself Say what you feel Ask for what you need Be emotionally brave Reveal what makes you feel loved Go easy on yourself Celebrate the exceptional Praise the ordinary Do the extrodinary ordinary thing Be a person of your word Criticize only in private Do the unexpected Behave your

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Getting Old Getting Old

I don't remember getting old, . it should'nt happen yet. I need to do some other things that aren't decided yet. Who said my joints should ache like this? my eyesight's getting bad, and when I hit the bedroom, well, things are looking sad. I'm fifty three, how can tha

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First Date First Date

He asked me out on our first date The excitement was intense As we faced each other in the car He seemed a little tense. I think I made him nervous He had a silly grin His leg was shaking just a bit I got beneath his skin. I couldn't see why he would be So anxiou

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You know its time to go on the wagon when: You know its time to go on the wagon when:

You say to your wife, 'honey if you can carry me to the car, I'll drive'. You are on top of the empire state building and you try to step on an ant and its really a brown Volvo on 34th street. You're so high your hair starts to hurt. You'd like to take an aspirin but

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33 Annoying Things To Do 33 Annoying Things To Do

 1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17inch paper, 99 copies. 2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen whi

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Windows Jokes. Windows Jokes.

Windows : Just another pain in the glass Double your drive space - delete Windows! Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I... Windows : Turn your pentium into an XT Windows : The Gates of hell Windows : The colourful clown suit for DOS Windows 95 is out... (PC Magazine 2013) Windows

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valentines day valentines day

8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning... i love you I am opening an emotional bank account for u sweetheart,so deposit your love in it and you will get the interest if i could die early i would ask God if i could be your guardian angel, so i could

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Technical Support Technical Support

I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own. Now, as yo

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Just a Theory Just a Theory

The question is who, what, and why we are here A question that will linger after a full case of beer Are we children of God that inhabit this earth Or the product of monkies who kept giving birth Now rarely do people bring aliens into the picture Our only two choices

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The Good Sport The Good Sport

A shame it was about old Bert, they said, A drinking man, a sport, a thoroughbred; He' d never meant ill to beast nor mankind And seldom would utter a word unkind. Forgot, meanwhile, the less than perfect Bert, Libido pert and ego girted Bert, Attractive flirt and far from call

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 TEXT SMS INSULTS TEXT SMS INSULTS

KILL THAT LOSER WITH SOME CRACKING TXT INSULTS   ☻Them: You:

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true love true love

i wish i was ur blanket,i wish i was ur bed, i wish i was ur pillow underneath ur head,i wanna b around u,i wanna hold u tight, & b the lucky person who kisses u goodnite 8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning... i love you Uve won m

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God and Adam God and Adam

God yawned a great yawn. He was awesomely bored After pottering around in His shed. He considered the chaos that swirled all around And thought: "It's time that summat got med!" So he shouted: "Be still!" and the howling let up As the winds and the tempest

Funny poems - Religious,Spiritual Poems Funny text > Top

101 Christmas gift ideas for the woman in your life 101 Christmas gift ideas for the woman in your life

Bedroom board games. Board games aren't just for kids anymore. There are plenty of sexy board games that bring fun and a sense of competition into the bedroom. A well-done game like Monogamy, Postman's Knock, or Naughty Dice is a fun way to get close. A gift like this is sure to lead to a memorabl

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25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you’re drinking too much coffee applies to you… you might be addicted.    1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.    2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”    3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it&r
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