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Mother's dictionary Mother's dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family plan

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Why should you check your children's homework Why should you check your children's homework

Why should you check your children's homework  Jokes - Funny Jokes

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

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child toilet massdistraction child toilet massdistraction

child toilet massdistraction Pictures - Funny picture

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Hot-dog child Hot-dog child

Hot-dog child Pictures - Funny picture

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mothers day mothers day

There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats d gift of a wonderful mum, and that luvly mum is u! Baby only for u, Would I touch ur poo, Let you wee, All over me, I'll pick ur nose & kiss ur toes, Clean your bum, Because I'm

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Girl and mother Girl and mother

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

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Girl and mother Girl and mother

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

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One Blonde To Another One Blonde To Another

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown

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Funny Quotes About Children Funny Quotes About Children

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT CHILDREN "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." Sam Levinson. "Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off." Ralph Bus. "There are

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All I Need All I Need

Your love surrounds me like the air that I breathe. Your kiss touches me as gentle as a breeze. Your touch is as tender as that of a child. Your hug is warm, meek, and mild. Each day we grow older and its plain to see, The love that you give me is all that I need. - Written and owned by Nata

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Andy Rooney Thoughts Andy Rooney Thoughts

I've learned... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. That when you're in love, it shows. That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day. That having a child fall asleep in your arms

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I Am My Own Grandpa I Am My Own Grandpa

Many, many years ago When I was twenty-three I got married to a widow Pretty as could be. This widow had a grow-up daughter With flowing hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my

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Funny Groucho Marx Quotes Funny Groucho Marx Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY GROUCHO MARX "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." "Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!" "A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is alw

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Marriage quotes 05 Marriage quotes 05

Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don't m

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Father and son Father and son

Father: What did you do today to help your mother? Son: I dried the dishes Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

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Who Is God? Who Is God?

A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?” “Both son. God is both.” After awhile the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?” “Both son, both.” “Daddy, does God love children?” “Yes

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The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional. The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional.

17. New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family. 16. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA. 15. Your mother and your pre-teen sister always fighting over the last beer. 14. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch. 13.

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Misery Is. Misery Is.

not having any money when the representative comes to your house selling Mafia cookies. laughing at your husband because he can't get into his old army uniform and then you can't get into your old maternity dress. going on your honeymoon and having the motel employees t

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An Eighties Christmas Flashback An Eighties Christmas Flashback

Twas the night before Friday and all through the town, no cops were cruising, no narks were around. As we all rolled our joints to be put in our sacks, we knew that soon we'd be stoned to the max. We drank Jack Daniel's And smoked Panama Red, a hit of tea

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Love Dress Love Dress

The early days of wedded bliss Held passion wild, untamed; but with the passing of the years This lusty fervor waned. "We'll have to find a cure to stem This indolence within," She thought, and then devised a plan Her husband's warmth to win. When he re

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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