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Yo Mama's So Fat Jokes 8 Yo Mama's So Fat Jokes 8

Yo Mama's so fat if I put a firecracker up her ass, and it exploded she would be feeding kids in India for years Your momma is so fat she changed the phrase "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"! Yo momma so fat that when I ran around her I got lost! Yo momma s

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You don't want the usual? You don't want the usual?

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar. She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool. The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously look

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Funny Food Quotes Funny Food Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT FOOD AND EATING "I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead." Woody Allen "I like children - fried." WC Fields. "Maybe there is no actual place called

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The guide for all men The guide for all men

WOMEN’S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry. We need... = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need

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Woman's translations Woman's translations

The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It's your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You'll pay for this later The wife says: We need t

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Yo Mamma. Yo Mamma.

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN" Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo momma so fat we're in her right now Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise Yo momma so fat she went to

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21 Types Of People You Might Meet In The Men's Room. 21 Types Of People You Might Meet In The Men's Room.

1 Excitable Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. 2 Sociable Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. 3 Crosseyed Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed. 4 Timid Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes

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Funny Definitions Funny Definitions

Adolescence, n: The stage between puberty and adultery. Adult, n: One old enough to know better. Adultery, n: Putting yourself in someone else's position. Afternoon, n: That part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning Ambition, n: An ant crawling up an elephan

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funny sms-miscellaneous funny sms-miscellaneous

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas! Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru

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To Women From A Guy. To Women From A Guy.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. If you won't/don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

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Men's Rules Men's Rules

Women should learn these! Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opport

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Australia Day Plea Australia Day Plea

I've just seen 'Pride and Prejudice', but feel no great compunction To swan around a vicarage, with tea and cakes for luncheon; Though buying oil from Saudis, we decline to put their robes on, And as for German influence - do you wear lederhosen? With tourist Nipponese folk, we oft e

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Jasmin's Birthday Jasmin's Birthday

Thank you for the party Mum My birthday was such fun I know my friends will all come back When I have another one The cake you baked was special I never would have thought Mum That a no-egg, no-milk, no-butter, chocolate-free, fat-free, sugar-free, date & pumpkin cake W

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The Woman's Code The Woman's Code

by Cheryl Lavin: The secret rules that women live by but rarely divulge to men. Invite a man to go shopping with you only if you need someone to carry your packages or drive. Assure your boyfriend that every female movie star has had a boob job. When your

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Sex Messages Sex Messages

☻Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do y

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Funny Dave Barry Quotes Funny Dave Barry Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY DAVE BARRY "Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet." "The only really good place to buy lumber i

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50 Fun Things For Professors To Do. 50 Fun Things For Professors To Do.

1. Wear a hood with one eyehole. Periodically make strange gurgling noises 2. After confirming everyone's names on the roll, thank the class for attending "Advanced Astrodynamics 690" and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop. 3. After turni

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Love SMS Messages Love SMS Messages

☻Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget. And if I die before you

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 Profundities Profundities

☻Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.   ☻A lawyer says 'we' won' or 'You' have lost.   ☻All computers wait at the

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 Marriage Jokes Marriage Jokes

☻Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!). ☻Marriage is a 3-ring

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25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you’re drinking too much coffee applies to you… you might be addicted.    1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.    2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”    3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it&r
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