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Girl and mother Girl and mother

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

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Speeding-Touching Love Story Speeding-Touching Love Story

(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle) Girl: Slow down. Im scared. Guy: No this is fun. Girl: No its not. Please, its to scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. (Girl hugs him) G

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Girl and boy Girl and boy

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet.

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Woman's instructions Woman's instructions

THE WOMAN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You

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Girl and mother Girl and mother

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

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Marriage quotes 14 Marriage quotes 14

This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect h

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How To Identify Professors. How To Identify Professors.

Chemistry Professor Wears a white lab coat. This may actually be clean but does not have to be. Practical Chemistry professor have a brand new coat that has never been in the lab. Polymer Chemistry professors have strange glop on their coat, and Introductory Che

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First Job First Job

"A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the worke

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Super girl avatar Super girl avatar

Super girl avatar Avatars

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Special you Special you

Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all rolled into 1 Thought of u 2day,dats not new,thought of u yesterday + da day b4 2, ill think of u 2mor + my whol

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Special You sms Messages Special You sms Messages

☻Sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all

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Story sms Messages Story sms Messages

☻Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr

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Unlucky Young Man Unlucky Young Man

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's &qu

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The Missing Rib-Tragic Love Story The Missing Rib-Tragic Love Story

A girl in love asked her boyfriend. Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world? Boy: You, of course! Girl: In your heart, what am I to you? Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that

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Let me Love You-Tragic Love Story Let me Love You-Tragic Love Story

Once upon a time, there was once a guy who was very much in love with this girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of papercranes as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time he was just a small executive in his company, his f

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Just Another Girl Just Another Girl

I remember, I remember the night that I was born, It was dark and stormy, but I couldn't wait 'til morn. Dad went for the doctor, he was in bed fast asleep. He opened up one beady eye, and said. "I think she'll keep." But he was wrong because he was a silly old twi

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Old Chinese Proverbs Old Chinese Proverbs

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine. A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper. Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him. Man who streaks is unsuited for his work. Girl who does everything under the su

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What Men Really Mean. What Men Really Mean.

"I'M GOING FISHING" Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." "IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern co

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Weight Loss Plan Weight Loss Plan

A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a repr

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Misery Is. Misery Is.

not having any money when the representative comes to your house selling Mafia cookies. laughing at your husband because he can't get into his old army uniform and then you can't get into your old maternity dress. going on your honeymoon and having the motel employees t

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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