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You Can Tell It's Going To Be A Rotten Day When. You Can Tell It's Going To Be A Rotten Day When.

You wake up face down on the pavement. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better. You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold. You see a '60 minutes' news team waiting in your office. You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and they aren't there. You tur

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Docter Speak. Docter Speak.

What the Doctor says What the Doctor really means "This should be taken care of right away." "I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself." "Welllllll, what have we here..." Si

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Funny Doctor Quotes Funny Doctor Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT DOCTORS AND MEDICINE "My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more." Walter Matthau. "Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head

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News Flash Messages News Flash Messages

☻NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one

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Alabama Mom To Alabama Son. Alabama Mom To Alabama Son.

Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where most accidents happened within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the las

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Life Together-True Love Story Life Together-True Love Story

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office. Apparently, they are there to file a divorce. Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story.... This couple had been quarreling all their 40

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 TEXT SMS INSULTS TEXT SMS INSULTS

KILL THAT LOSER WITH SOME CRACKING TXT INSULTS   ☻Them: You:

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Jokes sms messages Jokes sms messages

☻When the apple is green and ready to pluck. When a girl is sixteen she's ready to fuck!

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Cute Jokes Cute Jokes

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?" The pharmacist asks, "You mean aspirin?" "That's it, I can never remember the word." "Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor says, "Tell h

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Famous People. Famous People.

The scientist, Louis Pasteur, used to sneak a microscope into friends houses under his coat and then examine the food they were about to serve to make sure it was safe from germs. It appears that Adolf Hitler may not have died from suicide as people used to belie

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Good Quotation sms Messages Good Quotation sms Messages

☻As a final incentive before giving up a difficult task,try to imagine it succeessfully accompliced by someone you voilently hate

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Only Love-True Love Story Only Love-True Love Story

It's a cold February night. People are bustling through the streets, either pulling up their coat collars or wrapping scarves around their necks, trying to stay warm. It's so cold today.I'm standing at my window, looking at the

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True Computer Illiteracy Stories. True Computer Illiteracy Stories.

A guy called and said, "My computer blew up!" But, really, he had only experienced the 'starfield' screensaver. When one person wanted to use with the mouse, they picked it up, pointed it at the screen and clicked it like a remote control. I was in the Univ. of Crete

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Unusual Accidents, Deaths, And Other Occurances. Unusual Accidents, Deaths, And Other Occurances.

Miscellaneous A computer with the job of issuing traffic citations goofed in September, 1989 and sent notices to 41,000 residents of Paris, France informing them that they were charged with murder, prostitution and illegal sale of drugs. Did you know that steel

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Funny Answer Phone Messages. Funny Answer Phone Messages.

<Phone Rings> Noisy pick-up of phone Uh...<wisperingly> Hello? Hi, I 'm a burgular and I was just about to steal Troy's answering machine. If you give me your name and number I'll..uh, I'll post it on the 'frige where he'll see it. Uh.. by the way, wher

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Huge Collection Of Quotes. Huge Collection Of Quotes.

McGowan's Madison Avenue Axiom: If an item is advertised as "under $50", you can bet it's not $19.95. * Van Roy's Law: An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. * How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. * Un

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