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Marriage quotes 13 Marriage quotes 13

The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common la

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Funny Winston Churchill Quotes Funny Winston Churchill Quotes

FUNNY WINSTON CHURCHILL QUOTES When I am abroad I always make it a rule never to criticise or attack the Government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. "A sheep in sheep's clothing" On Clement Atlee A modest man, who

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Blonde Painting the House Blonde Painting the House

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

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Marriage quotes 03 Marriage quotes 03

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!" Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. Whe

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Marriage quotes 05 Marriage quotes 05

Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don't m

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A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to

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Top ten love quotes Top ten love quotes

Favorite Love Quotes #1     Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.     Franklin P. Jones Favorite Love Quotes #2     At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.     Plato Favorite Love Quote

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Top ten romantic quotes Top ten romantic quotes

Favorite Romantic Quotes #1     Real love stories never have endings.     Richard Bach Favorite Romantic Quotes #2     Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse.     Halen Favorite Romantic Quotes #3    

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Top ten funny love quotes Top ten funny love quotes

Favorite Funny Love Quotes #1     I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate -- but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.     Alf Whit Favorite Funny Love Quotes #2     I w

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New Cell Phone New Cell Phone

A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband. The next day she goes to Wal-mart and her phone rings, so she answers it. It was her husband. He says, "How's the new cell phone?" She replied, "Great...but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?"

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Top ten cute love quotes Top ten cute love quotes

Favorite Cute Love Quotes #1     LOVE: The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.     Mark Twain Favorite Cute Love Quotes #2     I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough.     Regina 'Age 1

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Top ten sad love quotes Top ten sad love quotes

Favorite Sad Love Quotes #1     Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.     Javan Favorite Sad Love Quotes #2     It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.     Samuel But

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Husband and lover Husband and lover

Husband and lover Pictures - Funny picture

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Marriage quotes 08 Marriage quotes 08

Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when t

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Marriage quotes 10 Marriage quotes 10

Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife.

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Funny Famous Women Quotes Funny Famous Women Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY FAMOUS WOMEN "I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names." Zsa Zsa Gabor "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the

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Marriage quotes 07 Marriage quotes 07

If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton.

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Marriage quotes 04 Marriage quotes 04

A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. An archaeologist is

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Marriage quotes 06 Marriage quotes 06

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at

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Marriage quotes 02 Marriage quotes 02

Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is de

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