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Girls are evil Girls are evil

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Proof that girls are evil Proof that girls are evil

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Marriage quotes 12 Marriage quotes 12

Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican

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Confucius Says Confucius Says

Man with hands in other people's pockets, not feeling himself. Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!! Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom. Man wh

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For all the girls For all the girls

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in To wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free; There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be. Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have n

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Pick Up Lines. Pick Up Lines.

You Say: Hi, how do you feel today? They Say: Fine. You Say: I asked how you felt, not how you look! Is it hot in here, or is it just you? If I told you you had a beautiful body/chest, would you hold it against me? Give Out Cards Or Where A Pin That Says... Smile if you wa

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Record Breakers. Record Breakers.

Women: Car Parking: The smallest kerbside space sucessfully reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuv

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Absurd sms Messages Absurd sms Messages

☻Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside …

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funny sms-miscellaneous funny sms-miscellaneous

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas! Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru

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To Women From A Guy. To Women From A Guy.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. If you won't/don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

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The Art World Funny Quotes The Art World Funny Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE ART WORLD "There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad." Salvador Dali. "If it sells, it's art." Frank Lloyd. "Salvador Dali seduced many ladies, particularly

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Men's Rules Men's Rules

Women should learn these! Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opport

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And God Created Woman And God Created Woman

In the garden of Eden walked Adam, alone and a trifle forlorn. For he hadn't a miss or a madam, and he whimpered every morn. "What's the matter with you?" said Jehovah "I've given you Eden you know, and now that you've looked the place over, I thought you'd be

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Quote sms Messages Quote sms Messages

☻To do ist to be (Socrates). To be is to do (Plato). Do be do be do (Sinatra) &

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A Politically Correct Christmas Story A Politically Correct Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labour conditions at the North Pole were alleg

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10 Rules For Dating My Daughter. 10 Rules For Dating My Daughter.

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you

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Funny Love & Marriage Quotes Funny Love & Marriage Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT LOVE AND MARRIAGE "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." Sacha Guitry. "There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with a

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The Good Sport The Good Sport

A shame it was about old Bert, they said, A drinking man, a sport, a thoroughbred; He' d never meant ill to beast nor mankind And seldom would utter a word unkind. Forgot, meanwhile, the less than perfect Bert, Libido pert and ego girted Bert, Attractive flirt and far from call

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Flirt sms Messages Flirt sms Messages

☻Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming,

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 TEXT SMS INSULTS TEXT SMS INSULTS

KILL THAT LOSER WITH SOME CRACKING TXT INSULTS   ☻Them: You:

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