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Patient and doctor Patient and doctor

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

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Patient and doctor Patient and doctor

Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor: Next please!

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Blondes Pain Blondes Pain

A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." "What do you mean?" said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched he

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Funny Doctor Quotes Funny Doctor Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT DOCTORS AND MEDICINE "My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more." Walter Matthau. "Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head

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Medical Problem Medical Problem

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, M

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This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window... He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs. "Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

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Girls are evil Girls are evil

Girls are evil Pictures - Funny picture

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Proof that girls are evil Proof that girls are evil

Proof that girls are evil Pictures - Funny picture

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Blonde at the Doctors Office Blonde at the Doctors Office

One day a Blonde walked into the doctors office with 2 red ears. The doctor asked what happened. She said "I was ironing and the phone rang and I picked up the iron by mistake. "What happened to the other ear?" the doctor asked. "They called back."

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Sore Throat Sore Throat

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says, "Open wide". "I can't," replies the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms."!

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Blonde Overdue Blonde Overdue

A blonde goes into a library and cheerfully says, "Hi! I'm here to see the doctor!" In a stern, but hushed voice, the librarian says, "Miss, this is a library." So the blonde lowers her voice and says, "Oh sorry!" Then whispers, "I'm here to see the doctor.

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Top ten funny love quotes Top ten funny love quotes

Favorite Funny Love Quotes #1     I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate -- but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.     Alf Whit Favorite Funny Love Quotes #2     I w

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Marriage quotes 12 Marriage quotes 12

Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican

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Nasty Bug Nasty Bug

Every night, Harold would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him a

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To Women From A Guy. To Women From A Guy.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. If you won't/don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

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Funny Eddie Izzard Quotes Funny Eddie Izzard Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY EDDIE IZZARD "I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup." "I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less." "Excuse me, do you have a pencil?" "Never put a sock in a toaster." &

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Docter Speak. Docter Speak.

What the Doctor says What the Doctor really means "This should be taken care of right away." "I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself." "Welllllll, what have we here..." Si

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Record Breakers. Record Breakers.

Women: Car Parking: The smallest kerbside space sucessfully reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuv

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She's so ugly that She's so ugly that

She's so ugly that: •    when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks! •    even the elephant man paid to see her! •    the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it! •    we p

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The Art World Funny Quotes The Art World Funny Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE ART WORLD "There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad." Salvador Dali. "If it sells, it's art." Frank Lloyd. "Salvador Dali seduced many ladies, particularly

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25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you’re drinking too much coffee applies to you… you might be addicted.    1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.    2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”    3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it&r
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