funny poems about being 30

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Favorite Funny Love Quotes #1     I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate -- but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.     Alf Whit Favorite Funny Love Quotes #2     I w

Roses r blue, Violets r red, Im crap with colours, but wicked in bed. roses r red, poppys r 2, but ill do anything 2 b with you Roses r red Voilets r blue 2 hell wiv da colors I really luvs u Roses r red, sky lights r blue! Love

FUNNY QUOTES BY GROUCHO MARX "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." "Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!" "A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is alw

FUNNY QUOTES BY EDDIE IZZARD "I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup." "I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less." "Excuse me, do you have a pencil?" "Never put a sock in a toaster." &

Well Sulio's boss thinks for a minute and then comes up with a name. "Tom Selleck! I bet you don't know Tom Selleck!" Sulio says "Tom Selleck! Tom and I were in boy scouts together when we were kids!" but Sulio's boss says "No you weren't!" then Sulio says "Yes

FUNNY QUOTES BY DENIS LEARY "I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?" "We live in a country where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest. Yoko Ono is sta

FUNNY QUOTES BY SPIKE MILLIGAN "Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy." "I speak Esparanto like a native." "In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesig

FUNNY QUOTES BY GEORGE BERNARD SHAW "Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course." "Those who can do, those who can't teach." "Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically

FUNNY QUOTES BY GEORGE BERNARD SHAW "Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course." "Those who can do, those who can't teach." "Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically

1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang. 3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors. 4. Two words: Chicken suit. 5. Write th

FUNNY QUOTES BY AMBROSE BIERCE "An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from but not enough to lend to." "An ambassador is a person who, having failed to secure an office from the people, is given one

FUNNY QUOTES BY MARK TWAIN "The report of my death was an exaggeration." "They spell it Vinci and pronounce it Vinchy; foreigners always spell better than they pronounce." "The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet

FUNNY QUOTES BY MARK TWAIN "The report of my death was an exaggeration." "They spell it Vinci and pronounce it Vinchy; foreigners always spell better than they pronounce." "The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet

FUNNY QUOTES BY EMO PHILIPS "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." "I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him." "My class

FUNNY QUOTES FROM GEORGE W BUSH "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." "I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington,

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephan