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Proper Etiquette In The Men's Room. Proper Etiquette In The Men's Room.

Ever since man crawled out of the primordial ooze, he has built himself structures to contain the processes of bodily waste removal. These have been known as "restrooms," "bathrooms," "outhouses," "commodes," "men's ro

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funny sms-birthday funny sms-birthday

Wishin u a day full of fun,100s of gifts frm every1, sweet as honey & full of money, may all ur dreams come tru, happy birthday 2 u! Kick off ur shoes, take a break, Crank the tunes, Dance & Shake, light the candles, cut the cake. Make it a day, that's

SMS Messages Funny text > Top

Animal Health Warning Animal Health Warning

The moon were at its full that night when I first heard Horace croak, 'twere on the road to Froghall some eight miles east of Stoke. Why I called him Horace I've not a bloody clue! -anyway, that's beside the point, he were cold and somewhat blue. I gathered up some logs and twigs and mad

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Marriage quotes 13 Marriage quotes 13

The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common la

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God I Hate Christmas God I Hate Christmas

God I hate Christmas with all it's good cheer I hearing people laughin' but I shed a tear Folks they just love ya' one day of the year The rest of the time they wouldn't come near ya' They send you a card full of love and best wishes Then in the New Year th

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Love SMS Messages Love SMS Messages

☻Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget. And if I die before you

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true love true love

i wish i was ur blanket,i wish i was ur bed, i wish i was ur pillow underneath ur head,i wanna b around u,i wanna hold u tight, & b the lucky person who kisses u goodnite 8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning... i love you Uve won m

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Yo Momma's Like a .. Yo Momma's Like a ..

Your momma's like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks, blows, and lays in the closet. Your momma's like a toilet, she's so full of shit. Your momma's like a hardware store 5 cents a screw Your momma's like a squirell, she can't keep nuts out of her mouth. Your momma's like a buffet, $

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The Economy Is So Bad That The Economy Is So Bad That

I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. Parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.  I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.  Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.   A p

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Vampire bat Vampire bat

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persiste

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Join the Club Join the Club

Just a line to say I’m living, That I'm not amongst the dead. Though I'm getting more forgetful And mixed up in the head. I've got used to my arthritis To my dentures I’m resigned I can cope with my bifocals, But - oh how I miss my mind. Sometimes I can't remember When I'm

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Run Run

I was teaching a very basic class in BASIC programming to a group of adults. Adults who have never been around computers before are very nervous and much harder to teach than children, however I am a patient person so I enjoy their successes. However, I must share the following: After putting a sh

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mothers day mothers day

There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats d gift of a wonderful mum, and that luvly mum is u! Baby only for u, Would I touch ur poo, Let you wee, All over me, I'll pick ur nose & kiss ur toes, Clean your bum, Because I'm

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50 Ways To Confuse Your Roommate. 50 Ways To Confuse Your Roommate.

1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. In

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50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart. 50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart.

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing C

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What women say and what they mean What women say and what they mean

ARE YOU WILLING TO: This means you better do it. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of "those" arguments. FIVE M

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On Turning Fifty On Turning Fifty

Today I turned fifty. I feel really good. My body's still working quite well thanks. (Touch wood!) My hair's not too grey, my wrinkles are few, I can still touch my toes with my knuckles. (Can you?) I'm quite full of vigour, just getting ripe. (But they now print the phone book in m

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Marriage quotes 06 Marriage quotes 06

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at

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Marriage quotes 02 Marriage quotes 02

Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is de

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Donkey in a Well Donkey in a Well

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbo

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