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Girls are evil Girls are evil

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Proof that girls are evil Proof that girls are evil

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My Boyfriend is Stuck My Boyfriend is Stuck

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties. Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had before, he became very excited and lost cont

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Marriage quotes 12 Marriage quotes 12

Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican

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Curiosity gets the Priest Curiosity gets the Priest

A priest, in urgent need to use the bathroom, walks into a local bar. The bar is jumping with loud music and lively conversation, but every few minutes the lights abruptly go off. Every time the lights go off, the bar crowd bursts into loud whoops and applause, but when they see the priest enter the

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Why should you check your children's homework Why should you check your children's homework

Why should you check your children's homework  Jokes - Funny Jokes

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

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A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to

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25 Ways To Cope With Stress. 25 Ways To Cope With Stress.

1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa. 3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. 4. When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have

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Women and man Women and man

WOMEN <=> MAN •    RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled 'All Men Are Idiots' Then she will get on with her life. A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months af

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Top 10 Ways To Handle Stress Top 10 Ways To Handle Stress

 1. Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa. 3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. 4. When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans. 5. Find out what a frog in a blender reall

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The Art World Funny Quotes The Art World Funny Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE ART WORLD "There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad." Salvador Dali. "If it sells, it's art." Frank Lloyd. "Salvador Dali seduced many ladies, particularly

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Love Dress Love Dress

The early days of wedded bliss Held passion wild, untamed; but with the passing of the years This lusty fervor waned. "We'll have to find a cure to stem This indolence within," She thought, and then devised a plan Her husband's warmth to win. When he re

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For all the girls For all the girls

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in To wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free; There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be. Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have n

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The Woman's Code The Woman's Code

by Cheryl Lavin: The secret rules that women live by but rarely divulge to men. Invite a man to go shopping with you only if you need someone to carry your packages or drive. Assure your boyfriend that every female movie star has had a boob job. When your

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Top ten cute love quotes Top ten cute love quotes

Favorite Cute Love Quotes #1     LOVE: The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.     Mark Twain Favorite Cute Love Quotes #2     I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough.     Regina 'Age 1

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The Good Sport The Good Sport

A shame it was about old Bert, they said, A drinking man, a sport, a thoroughbred; He' d never meant ill to beast nor mankind And seldom would utter a word unkind. Forgot, meanwhile, the less than perfect Bert, Libido pert and ego girted Bert, Attractive flirt and far from call

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Funny Larry Flynt Quotes Funny Larry Flynt Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY LARRY FLYNT "There's nothing that will change someone's moral outlook quicker than cash in large sums." "If the human body's obscene, complain to the manufacturer, not to me." "The major

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Marriage quotes 15 Marriage quotes 15

All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employe

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Pick Up Lines. Pick Up Lines.

You Say: Hi, how do you feel today? They Say: Fine. You Say: I asked how you felt, not how you look! Is it hot in here, or is it just you? If I told you you had a beautiful body/chest, would you hold it against me? Give Out Cards Or Where A Pin That Says... Smile if you wa

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Record Breakers. Record Breakers.

Women: Car Parking: The smallest kerbside space sucessfully reversed into by a woman, was one of 19.36m equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins (GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuv

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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