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The Worst Book I've Ever Read The Worst Book I've Ever Read

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!" The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who too

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funny sms- word games funny sms- word games

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't

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Alabama Mom To Alabama Son. Alabama Mom To Alabama Son.

Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where most accidents happened within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the las

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Funny Writers&Critics Quotes Funny Writers&Critics Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY WRITERS & CRITICS "Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" John Mendosa. "What's another word for thesaurus?" Steven Wright . "This is the sixth book I've written, whic

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Love, Santa Love, Santa

Dear Friends, I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. Th

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Engineers Engineers

REAL SOFTWARE ENGINEERS DON'T READ DUMPS   Real software engineers don't read dumps.   They never generate them, and on the rare occasions that they come across them, they are vaguely amused. Real software engineers don't comment their code.  The identifiers are so

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Funny George Burns Quotes Funny George Burns Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY GEORGE BURNS "When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and

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Prison And Work. Prison And Work.

IN PRISON... You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK... You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON... You get three meals a day. AT WORK... You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON... You get time off for good

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Top ten funny love quotes Top ten funny love quotes

Favorite Funny Love Quotes #1     I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate -- but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.     Alf Whit Favorite Funny Love Quotes #2     I w

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Funny Groucho Marx Quotes Funny Groucho Marx Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY GROUCHO MARX "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." "Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!" "A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is alw

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Dear Employees Dear Employees

So I'm at work yesterday and the mailclerk starts handing out letters from upper management. At this point, I'm thinking "Oh crap, how am I gonna tell my family I got laid off?" Fortunately, I'm only 29 years old. You'll understand when you read the letter. Due to the current financ

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25 Ways To Cope With Stress. 25 Ways To Cope With Stress.

1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa. 3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. 4. When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have

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A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?" Barbara: "Sure

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Advice in Abundance Advice in Abundance

Introduction I don't know if I'm typical but for most of my life I have resisted taking advice. With the hindsight that flows with age, I now realize that some of it would have been very useful. To be fair, I have been equally reluctant to offer unsolicited a

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David and Goliath David and Goliath

In the book of Samuel, David fought the giant, using just a sling and stones, a boy quite self-reliant. In a stream along the way, David found some rocks. He selected five of them and stuffed them in his socks. He called the giant, called him names, said things ab

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101 uses for a dead Amiga. 101 uses for a dead Amiga.

[1] You can put an Amiga under a short leg on a table. [2] You can use an Amiga for a kitty litter box. [3] You can scrap an Amiga and use it as spare parts for a radio. [4] You can use an Amiga as a car stop when you park on a steep hill. [5] You can use an Amiga when your teacher

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Codgering Codgering

I wake up each morning, scratch my ass and head, Then read the day's obits to see if I'm dead, And seeing I'm not I get up for a piddle, Then crawl back in bed where I diddle a little. At six I make coffee and drink it down black, And eat me some toast, without teeth I just

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Funny Music Quotes Funny Music Quotes

Funny Music Quotes "The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet." Oliver Herford. "Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewin

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Funny Authors Quotes Funny Authors Quotes

FUNNY AUTHORS QUOTES I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork." Peter De Vries "About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment." Josh Bi

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Recovering Thinker Recovering Thinker

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and

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