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Andy Rooney Thoughts Andy Rooney Thoughts

I've learned... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. That when you're in love, it shows. That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day. That having a child fall asleep in your arms

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Why should you check your children's homework Why should you check your children's homework

Why should you check your children's homework  Jokes - Funny Jokes

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

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child toilet massdistraction child toilet massdistraction

child toilet massdistraction Pictures - Funny picture

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Hot-dog child Hot-dog child

Hot-dog child Pictures - Funny picture

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Mother's dictionary Mother's dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family plan

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One Blonde To Another One Blonde To Another

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown

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The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional. The Top 17 Reasons Why Your Family Is Dysfunctional.

17. New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family. 16. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA. 15. Your mother and your pre-teen sister always fighting over the last beer. 14. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch. 13.

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Alabama Mom To Alabama Son. Alabama Mom To Alabama Son.

Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where most accidents happened within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the las

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All I Need All I Need

Your love surrounds me like the air that I breathe. Your kiss touches me as gentle as a breeze. Your touch is as tender as that of a child. Your hug is warm, meek, and mild. Each day we grow older and its plain to see, The love that you give me is all that I need. - Written and owned by Nata

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Funny Quotes About Children Funny Quotes About Children

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT CHILDREN "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." Sam Levinson. "Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off." Ralph Bus. "There are

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Who Is God? Who Is God?

A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?” “Both son. God is both.” After awhile the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?” “Both son, both.” “Daddy, does God love children?” “Yes

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First Job First Job

"A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the worke

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Funny Groucho Marx Quotes Funny Groucho Marx Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY GROUCHO MARX "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." "Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!" "A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is alw

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An Eighties Christmas Flashback An Eighties Christmas Flashback

Twas the night before Friday and all through the town, no cops were cruising, no narks were around. As we all rolled our joints to be put in our sacks, we knew that soon we'd be stoned to the max. We drank Jack Daniel's And smoked Panama Red, a hit of tea

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Story sms Messages Story sms Messages

☻Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr

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Good Quotation sms Messages Good Quotation sms Messages

☻As a final incentive before giving up a difficult task,try to imagine it succeessfully accompliced by someone you voilently hate

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How To Know If You Work In Corporate USA. How To Know If You Work In Corporate USA.

1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are. 2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization." 3. You refer to dating as test marketing. 4. You can spell "paradigm." 5. You actually know what a paradigm is. 6. You unders

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PARENT - Job Description PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! POSITION: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candida

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A woman's dictionary A woman's dictionary

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, di

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Funny Love & Marriage Quotes Funny Love & Marriage Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT LOVE AND MARRIAGE "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." Sacha Guitry. "There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with a

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