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Laws Of Cartoon Motion. Laws Of Cartoon Motion.

O'Donnell's Laws of Cartoon Motion I. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down.

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Mother's dictionary Mother's dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family plan

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Why should you check your children's homework Why should you check your children's homework

Why should you check your children's homework  Jokes - Funny Jokes

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

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Pet Ownership. Pet Ownership.

A pet can be a wonderful addition to a household, but it's important to choose one that's right for your family. Here are some tips for making a winning choice: o Pets eventually grow old and die, causing your children great emotional trauma. Be sure to only ch

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Who Is God? Who Is God?

A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?” “Both son. God is both.” After awhile the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?” “Both son, both.” “Daddy, does God love children?” “Yes

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Funny Quotes About Children Funny Quotes About Children

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT CHILDREN "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." Sam Levinson. "Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off." Ralph Bus. "There are

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A woman's dictionary A woman's dictionary

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, di

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Just a Theory Just a Theory

The question is who, what, and why we are here A question that will linger after a full case of beer Are we children of God that inhabit this earth Or the product of monkies who kept giving birth Now rarely do people bring aliens into the picture Our only two choices

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The Economy Is So Bad That The Economy Is So Bad That

I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. Parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.  I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.  Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.   A p

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Marriage quotes 14 Marriage quotes 14

This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect h

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Run Run

I was teaching a very basic class in BASIC programming to a group of adults. Adults who have never been around computers before are very nervous and much harder to teach than children, however I am a patient person so I enjoy their successes. However, I must share the following: After putting a sh

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The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photogr

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Marriage quotes 13 Marriage quotes 13

The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common la

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Marriage quotes 06 Marriage quotes 06

I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at

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Life Together-True Love Story Life Together-True Love Story

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office. Apparently, they are there to file a divorce. Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story.... This couple had been quarreling all their 40

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Marriage quotes 05 Marriage quotes 05

Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- Catch-22 Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Don't m

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Funny George W Bush Quotes Funny George W Bush Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES FROM GEORGE W BUSH "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." "I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington,

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Funny Dan Quayle Quotes Funny Dan Quayle Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES FROM DAN QUAYLE "Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." "We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world." 9/21/88 "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a 'part'

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Funny Celebrity Quotes Funny Celebrity Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY FAMOUS CELEBRITIES "Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." Emo Philips . "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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