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Funny text bedtime prayer for men joke

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I was sort of hoping, That you would come along, Like the answer to a prayer, And the music to a song. Like the kind of thing that happens, At a special place and time, That will change our lives forever, Like a fantasy of mine. The fantasy was there before, I ever knew your name, And

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Men are like... Men are like...

1. Men are like ........Laxatives ....... They irritate the shit out of you. 2. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are. 3. Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.. 4. Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One,

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The Blind and the Blond The Blind and the Blond

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?" The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your le

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Funny Mathematics Quotes Funny Mathematics Quotes

"I don't believe in mathematics." Albert Einstein "Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the

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Two Blind Pilots Two Blind Pilots

Two blind pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously aroun

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The Worst Of The Worst. The Worst Of The Worst.

THE WORST HOMING PIGEON This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and was expected to reach its base that evening. It was returned by post, dead, in a cardboard box eleven years later from Brazil. THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen's strike o

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How to make a blonde laugh How to make a blonde laugh

How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday? Tell her a joke on Monday!

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Unlucky Young Man Unlucky Young Man

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's &qu

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The Bar Story The Bar Story

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity ab

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The Bar Story The Bar Story

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting a

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Funny Music Quotes Funny Music Quotes

Funny Music Quotes "The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet." Oliver Herford. "Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewin

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Funny Quotes About Men Funny Quotes About Men

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT MEN "The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things." Jilly Cooper. "You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? Tha

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Men Men

Men Pictures - Funny picture

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Drunk men Drunk men

Drunk men Pictures - Funny picture

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Woman's instructions Woman's instructions

THE WOMAN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You

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Funny Quotes on Nationalities Funny Quotes on Nationalities

FUNNY NATIONALITIES AND PLACES QUOTES "The Middle Eastern states aren't nations, they're quarrels with borders." PJ O'Rouke. "Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!" Steve Martin.

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Codgering Codgering

I wake up each morning, scratch my ass and head, Then read the day's obits to see if I'm dead, And seeing I'm not I get up for a piddle, Then crawl back in bed where I diddle a little. At six I make coffee and drink it down black, And eat me some toast, without teeth I just

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funny sms- word games funny sms- word games

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't

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Marriage quotes 03 Marriage quotes 03

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...and then it was too late!" Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense. Whe

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Funny Famous Women Quotes Funny Famous Women Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY FAMOUS WOMEN "I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names." Zsa Zsa Gabor "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the

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25 Signs You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee I love coffee, maybe too much. Cups of coffee, coffee smoothies, iced coffee from McDonald’s - you name it I’ll drink it (and alot of it). I can’t drink just one cup either, I can drink it all day. Anyone else have this problem? Not sure? Well, if at least 10 of these 25 signs you’re drinking too much coffee applies to you… you might be addicted.    1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.    2. You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”    3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it&r
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