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Insults Insults

I'm a self-made man. We accept your apology. Why don't you go home and brush up on your ignorance. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. He doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box. The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead. All foam, no beer. He fell

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Sms jokes Sms jokes

For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?

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Sms Jokes Sms Jokes

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

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Sms jokes Sms jokes

Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

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Just Another Girl Just Another Girl

I remember, I remember the night that I was born, It was dark and stormy, but I couldn't wait 'til morn. Dad went for the doctor, he was in bed fast asleep. He opened up one beady eye, and said. "I think she'll keep." But he was wrong because he was a silly old twi

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Sms jokes Sms jokes

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long

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Funny Stories About Women Car Drivers Funny Stories About Women Car Drivers

Here are a few jokes and funny stories about women car drivers.   A traffic policeman stops a woman and asks to see her driving licence. 'Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses when driving.' 'Well,' replies the woman, 'I have contacts.' 'Lady, I don't care who y

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Words From Husband To Wife Words From Husband To Wife

I am enamored by your beauty by the way you're tanned of color. I just sit awe fully astonished as you cast light into the night. I wonder if obscurity has attached upon my vision because your body is untouched of a blemish. I have trouble possessing time

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Blonde Logic Blonde Logic

A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, "I hate all the blonde jokes people tell." "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you." They went outside and hailed a taxi driver. "Please ta

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Beach Pic Beach Pic

Take my picture as I stand Posing proudly on the sand, My cornetto in my hand. Towel concealing all that's floppy, Smile controlled and not too soppy, Everyone will want a copy. Print comes later in the week. God, who is this aged freak? Tear it up. No, do not spe

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Australia Day Plea Australia Day Plea

I've just seen 'Pride and Prejudice', but feel no great compunction To swan around a vicarage, with tea and cakes for luncheon; Though buying oil from Saudis, we decline to put their robes on, And as for German influence - do you wear lederhosen? With tourist Nipponese folk, we oft e

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Are You Talking To Me Are You Talking To Me

"Are you talking to me?" she said passing by "Yes, you ... you ... next to the bald-headed guy, "I think you're real gorgeous ... that flaming red hair Is exceedingly beautiful and really quite rare. "I love the way that it curls round your face, And

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Growing Old Gracefully Growing Old Gracefully

There's a mole on my neck that's growing a hair When I was younger it wasn't there A lot of things changed since I've grown older like my fallen arches and this hump on my shoulder Yesterday I noticed a twitch in one eye and spots on my hand that resemble a fly I used to

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Animal Health Warning Animal Health Warning

The moon were at its full that night when I first heard Horace croak, 'twere on the road to Froghall some eight miles east of Stoke. Why I called him Horace I've not a bloody clue! -anyway, that's beside the point, he were cold and somewhat blue. I gathered up some logs and twigs and mad

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I Touch Your Hand I Touch Your Hand

You touch my hand and look at me. There is a message in your eyes Which makes me fidget nervously Although it does not much surprise. If I had any sense I'd flee, Make some excuses, tell you lies, Suggest that I could never be Party to such an enterprise, Say that I

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Dream Lover Dream Lover

If there is one thing That irritates me to the point of screaming It is my inability to remember what on earth I've been dreaming. When I wake up my dream is as clear As a colour print of it. Two seconds later my mind has slipped out of gear And I can't remember a hint of it Altho

Funny poems - Life Poems Funny text > Top

Sms jokes Sms jokes

A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

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You Men You Men

I was asked for an honest opinion, and replied without second thought, about the dress that she was now wearing, at Debenham's recently bought. I replied a little too frankly, about colour, shape and size, and learned a valuable lesson, about women and telling lies ! Copyr

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This Will Change Your Life Forever This Will Change Your Life Forever

I've invented a new word It's fun and it's free A four lettered miracle As soon you will see You can use it in private Or tell all your friends It's not overbearing It never condescends This one single syllable Will change your whole life Make you very popula

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How Am I You Ask How Am I You Ask

How am I you ask? Well I must say I'll be fine as soon as this pain goes away I'll be fine when I lose a few hundred pounds and my cough isn't really as bad as it sounds The sight in my eye will return they say as soon as this pain in my head goes away I guess I'll be abl

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