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Confucius Says Confucius Says

Man with hands in other people's pockets, not feeling himself. Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary. Man who fart in church sit in own pew. Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!! Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom. Man wh

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Yo Mama's So Dumb Yo Mama's So Dumb

Yo Mama's so dumb i told her Christmas was around the corner, and she went lookin'. Yo Mama's so dumb that she tripped over a cordless phone. Your Mama's so dumb that she got smacked by a statue. Yo Mama's so dumb she got locked in a toilet and pissed herself. Yo Mama's so dumb

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Love, Santa Love, Santa

Dear Friends, I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. Th

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Funny Emo Philips Quotes Funny Emo Philips Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES BY EMO PHILIPS "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." "I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him." "My class

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Their Sons Their Sons

These 4 pals go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son BIll," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter,

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Funny Sex Quotes Funny Sex Quotes

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT SEX "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen . "The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less." Brendan Francis. "There we were

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Absurd sms Messages Absurd sms Messages

☻Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside …

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Funny Celebrity Insults Funny Celebrity Insults

FUNNY CELEBRITY INSULTS "A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein but with the attention span of Daffy Duck." Tom Shales talking about Robin Williams "When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Ac

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A Politically Correct Christmas Story A Politically Correct Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labour conditions at the North Pole were alleg

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Funny Comedian Ravings Funny Comedian Ravings

FUNNY QUOTES: GENERAL COMEDIAN RAVINGS "I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." Rodney Dangerfield. "You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she

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Quote sms Messages Quote sms Messages

☻To do ist to be (Socrates). To be is to do (Plato). Do be do be do (Sinatra) &

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Good Quotation sms Messages Good Quotation sms Messages

☻As a final incentive before giving up a difficult task,try to imagine it succeessfully accompliced by someone you voilently hate

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The Most Important Events Of 1988 The Most Important Events Of 1988

Nearly one in three American adults queried by the National Science Foundation said the sun revolves around the earth. In another survey, youngsters between 8 and 12 were able to name more brands of alcoholic beverages than former presidents. One 11-year-old boy who named eight brands of beer an

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Why should you check your children\'s homework
Why should you check your children\'s homework Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note: Dear Ms. Davis, I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shove
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