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Love, Santa Love, Santa

Dear Friends, I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. Th

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Marriage quotes 12 Marriage quotes 12

Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican

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Girls are evil Girls are evil

Girls are evil Pictures - Funny picture

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Proof that girls are evil Proof that girls are evil

Proof that girls are evil Pictures - Funny picture

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Funny Quotes About Children Funny Quotes About Children

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT CHILDREN "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." Sam Levinson. "Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off." Ralph Bus. "There are

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funny sms-miscellaneous funny sms-miscellaneous

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas! Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru

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Marriage quotes 02 Marriage quotes 02

Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. * In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. It is true that love is blind but marriage is de

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Mother's dictionary Mother's dictionary

Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside. Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Family plan

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Why should you check your children's homework Why should you check your children's homework

Why should you check your children's homework  Jokes - Funny Jokes

Why parents should always check their children's homework before they hand it in: See the picture attached. :-)) A first grade girl handed in the drawing, enclosed here, for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day wit

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Women and man Women and man

WOMEN <=> MAN •    RELATIONSHIPS: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled 'All Men Are Idiots' Then she will get on with her life. A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months af

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Pet Ownership. Pet Ownership.

A pet can be a wonderful addition to a household, but it's important to choose one that's right for your family. Here are some tips for making a winning choice: o Pets eventually grow old and die, causing your children great emotional trauma. Be sure to only ch

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Silence Isn't Always Golden Silence Isn't Always Golden

Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to sp

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Life By The Numbers Life By The Numbers

face value/second mortgage/third party insurance fourth dimension/fifth column/six sex shops seven slow commercials/8 bells for old Kuwait (bombs away) nine mutant ninja bloody turtles & 10 commandments (oh yeah?) 11 is for the fool/12 for the apostles who killed fish 12 for the

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Who Is God? Who Is God?

A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, is God a man or a woman?” “Both son. God is both.” After awhile the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy, is God black or white?” “Both son, both.” “Daddy, does God love children?” “Yes

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Instructions for Life in the new millennium Instructions for Life in the new millennium

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 3. Follow the three Rules: Respect for self Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions. 4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonder

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Their Sons Their Sons

These 4 pals go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son BIll," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter,

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A Letter to Rudolph A Letter to Rudolph

Dear Husband, It is time that I must have my say, I've taken your shit day after day. I've kept the home peaceful year after year Now there is going to be changes, so listen my dear. So you're famous, everyone knows your name, And you're a specialist by gum, in the transpo

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Unlucky Young Man Unlucky Young Man

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's &qu

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Pick Up Lines. Pick Up Lines.

You Say: Hi, how do you feel today? They Say: Fine. You Say: I asked how you felt, not how you look! Is it hot in here, or is it just you? If I told you you had a beautiful body/chest, would you hold it against me? Give Out Cards Or Where A Pin That Says... Smile if you wa

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For all the girls For all the girls

When I was in my younger days, I weighed a few pounds less, I needn't hold my tummy in To wear a belted dress. But now that I am older, I've set my body free; There's comfort of elastic Where once my waist would be. Inventor of those high-heeled shoes My feet have n

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