TOP TEN JOKES
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Funny Business Quotes
FUNNY BUSINESS QUOTES
"A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation."
Howard Scott.
"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons."
Douglas Adams.
"I always arrive late a
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Recovering Thinker
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and
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Accident prevention
7,386 teenagers between the ages of 16-20 were killed in car accidents in 2004.
Did you know?
A teenager's first 500 miles of driving are the most dangerous. During that time, teens are 10 times more likely to crash than an adult.
Two-thirds of the teenagers who
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YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN
You ski uphill.
You speed walk in your sleep.
You answer the door before people knock.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only
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Dictionary Of Useful Research Phrases.
"It has long been known..."
I didn't look up the original references
"A definite trend is evident..."
These data are practically meaningless
"Of great theoretical and practical importance..."
Interesting to me
"While it has not been possible to provide defin
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Acronyms
AAAAA The Organization for Drunk Drivers
AOL Anti On-Line
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
ARMY Ain't a Real Marine Yet (thanks to Ernest Sewell IV)
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered
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mothers day
There is a gift that gold cannot buy a blessing dats rare & true.dats d
gift of a wonderful mum, and that luvly mum is u!
Baby only for u, Would I touch ur poo, Let you wee, All over me, I'll pick ur
nose & kiss ur toes, Clean your bum, Because I'm
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New Cell Phone
A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband.
The next day she goes to Wal-mart and her phone rings, so she answers it.
It was her husband. He says, "How's the new cell phone?"
She replied, "Great...but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?"
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A Poem For Those Over 30
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bit
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Best Friend SMS Messages
☻Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
☻To
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