My other wife is beautiful. My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave

Dreams I dream of your touch while you are away, I dream of your smile all through the day, I remember the day, You came into my life, I dream of the day I will be your wife. I dream of the day I can fall asleep next to you, I dream of the day I can say I do. To be your wife, To be toge

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." "What do you mean?" said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched he

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown

How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT FOOD AND EATING "I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead." Woody Allen "I like children - fried." WC Fields. "Maybe there is no actual place called

It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet! I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u cum down the police station

☻God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. ☻For the hand that rocks the

A pet can be a wonderful addition to a household, but it's important to choose one that's right for your family. Here are some tips for making a winning choice: o Pets eventually grow old and die, causing your children great emotional trauma. Be sure to only ch